• Empowering Kids In An Anxious World by C. Turner

Empowering Kids In An Anxious World by C. Turner

Empowering Kids In An Anxious World by C. Turner

Snippets:

Rates of anxiety and depression among teens in the U.S. have been rising for years. According to one study, nearly one in three adolescents (ages 13-18) now meets the criteria for an anxiety disorder, and in the latest results from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 32 percent of teens reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness.

And there’s more bad news, grown-ups: The authors of two new parenting books believe you’re part of the problem.

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• Why Complementarian Women Are Complementarian – And: When Women Enforce Complementarianism

Why Complementarian Women Are Complementarian – And: When Women Enforce Complementarianism

There are several reasons why a Christian woman might become a complementarian.

I will present a link much farther below (from Cult News site) that discusses how and why some Christian women pressure other Christian women to conform to sexist complementarian teachings.

I am an ex-complementarian.

Some women, such as myself, were born into complementarianism.

I was brought up in a Christian family that attended Southern Baptist churches, Southern Baptist churches endorse complementarianism, and my mother was always bringing in Christian-based magazines and other literature into the home, which stressed very traditional gender roles.

(When I was a kid growing up Southern Baptist, I don’t recall the Southern Baptists of the 1970s, or even the 1980s, being as nearly obsessed and insistent upon traditional gender roles as they started to become in the 1990s and later.)

If you become a Christian, and you love God, and you believe that God is your BFF (your bestie), you naturally want to live in such a way that is pleasing to God.

Your church and your parents are telling you that complementarianism is pleasing to God.

Furthermore, complementarianism is conflated with codependent attitudes and behavior by its adherents.

When you are a complementarian, you are taught by complementarians that your only alternative to complementarianism is to become an evil, icky, un-biblical, liberal secular feminist.

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• The Born That Way Argument

The Born That Way Argument

A guy at Wartburg Watch made the following comment:

by David

The slippery slope of culture. Accept homosexuality, not as a lifestyle choice but you are burn [born] that way. Children as young as five years old announcing they are transgendered, years before they reach puberty, and now at of Germany (article below), the assertion that child predators are “born that way.” Can anyone see this chasm that we have crossed in the past 10 plus years??

https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/ted-speaker-pedophilia-is-an-unchangeable-sexual-orientation-anyone-could-b

//// end post by David ////

One of the self-avowed progressives on the thread was upset by that remark and replied:

by  Muslin, fka Dee Holmes on Wed Jul 18, 2018 at 11:15 PM said:

I object strenuously to this comment. LGBT does not equate to pedophilia. I would note that the reason child predators are punished is because children cannot consent to sexual contact. Seriously, I find this comment repulsive and it makes me very angry.

//// end post by Muslin / Dee ////

Was David conflating homosexuality with pedophilia? I’m not sure. Maybe he was. Maybe he wasn’t.

What I do know is that it’s strange for progressives or anyone else to get angry over someone mentioning that pedophiles or other groups, like homosexuals prior, use the “don’t make X illegal or say it’s immoral; I can’t help it, I was born that way!” argument.

I remember during the 1990s – and this may have started in the 1980s – homosexual rights groups began arguing that they were born homosexual, so society should back off and leave them alone and strip law books of anti-sodomy laws and so on.

That went on for a good decade or more.

Afterwards, pro-pedophilia groups – people who admit to being sexually attracted to children and who want adult-child sex legalized – began arguing that they are just “born that way.”

There are people who want incest legalized.

And yet later, Zoophiles – people who advocate for human-animal sex – also began claiming they are “born that way” and hence, they argue or reason, bestiality should be legal or carry no societal disdain.

Some zoophiles, in articles I’ve read, have expressed frustration or confusion as to why homosexual rights groups don’t want to support their bestiality.

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• Southern Baptists Are Having To Defend Themselves Against the Accusation That They’re Becoming Feminists

Southern Baptists Are Having To Defend Themselves Against the Accusation That They’re Becoming Feminists

One of the mis-givings I have with being a conservative is sitting back and watching other conservatives automatically reject any and all grievances raised by secular or Christian feminists (and doing so without honestly weighing if the feminist points have merit or not), or to associate seeking justice and equality for women with extreme, militant feminism, and therefore rejecting it out-right.

There is nothing anti- conservative, or un-biblical, with conservatives, Republicans, Christians, or with anyone, noticing that sexism exists and seeking to rectify the situation and to ensure that girls and women are treated with respect, and given equality of opportunity.

The Southern Baptists Dumped a Predator or Two, but Let’s Hold Off on the F-word

Jul 16, 2018, 1:54pm Anne Linstatter

The #metoo and #churchtoo movements have put SBC leaders on the defensive, as earlier revelations of widespread child sexual abuse by priests did to the all-male Roman Catholic hierarchy. Yet both groups continue to deny that there could be any connection between all-male power and the sexual abuse of women and children.

What a hoot! Southern Baptists are having to defend themselves against the accusation that they’re becoming feminists.

What have they done to deserve this F-word? They’ve kicked out the president of a seminary for counseling victims of domestic violence to keep quiet, and for telling at least one rape victim to forgive her assailant and not report to police. They dethroned a few other predator pastors and confessed to past failures to protect the weak.

This counts as feminism?

I’d simply call it justice regardless of gender—which, by the way, actually is the definition of feminism.

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• Conquering Shame and Codependency – book by Darlene Lancer

Conquering Shame and Codependency – book by Darlene Lancer

I’ve only read excerpts from the book Conquering Shame and Codependency by Darlene Lancer, but it looks to be an interesting and maybe helpful read.

I come from a family that was heavily shame-based. My father in particular was very much into shaming my mother, siblings, and myself.

And I come from a devout Christian family – being devout Christians who regularly attended church – did nothing to halt that shaming, the hyper-criticism, the negativity.

The following material also touches on other subject matter in the midst of discussing shame and codependency, such as domestic violence and introversion.

Here are links about the book by Lancer, or links to interviews with Lancer:

Darlene Lancer’s site (with a lot of material about codependency)

Podcast: Darlene Lancer Talks Autonomy and Codependency on Mental Health News Radio

In new book, expert on codependency traces its roots in shame

Podcasts of Interviews with Lancer on Sound Cloud

Lancer Sound Cloud Podcasts

Topics on that page:

Symptoms of Codependency – Coping with Emptiness

Overcoming Codependent Guilt

Interview about Shame and Codependency

Toxic Shame | Guest Author Darlene Lancer

Snippets:

Martha Rosenberg: What are some of the ways children experience and incorporate shame during their childhoods?

Darlene Lancer:  Parents can shame their children’s needs, feelings and even interests. For example, if a child is told not to cry and “you’re a big boy now,” his need for comfort when he is in distress will be shamed.

A PBS program showed how different mothers of distressed 2-year-olds reacted. Some did not hold or even look at their children, probably because they were not comforted themselves as children.

If a child displays an interest in sports or culture or music and the parents do not approve of it, his interests can be shamed.

… Martha Rosenberg: You have also said that codependency is a progressive disease like alcoholism that leads to physical symptoms including chronic pain and final feelings of being “dead” inside. Can you describe some of your clients’ recoveries from shame and codependency?

Darlene Lancer: One of my clients was married to someone who was very verbally abusive to her. He was clever, manipulative and kept her in a “one down” position.

She tolerated the abuse because it resonated with feelings of worthlessness and weakness she had formed about herself when she was growing up.

Under a barrage of criticism, she would just freeze and not be able to find words to defend herself. She believed her own needs were selfish.

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• Traditional Gender Roles Associated with Domestic Abuse – Gender Complementarianism Is Not Counter-Cultural

Traditional Gender Roles Associated with Domestic Abuse – Gender Complementarianism Is Not Counter-Cultural

There are secular articles and studies pointing out that in secular culture, acceptance or agreement with traditional gender roles is associated with domestic abuse.

Christian gender complementarians sometimes peddle their views about women and gender roles by insisting that complementarianism is “counter cultural.”

Christian complementarians seem to think that the entire culture completely buys into secular, liberal feminism – which it does not – and they seem to feel that they are standing alone to defend people or culture against feminism.

Complementarianism, which believes in traditional gender roles, mirrors secular culture on some points; it does not stand in distinction or opposition to it, despite the many complementarian books, sermons, and blog posts to the contrary.

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• Religious Trauma Syndrome and the (Negative) Effects of Religion on Mental Health

Religious Trauma Syndrome and the (Negative) Effects of Religion on Mental Health

Several years ago, atheist Richard Dawkins made some kind of comment about any and all religion being taught to a child by his or her parents as being a form of “child abuse.” That Dawkins did not offer any caveats or qualifiers to that comment made it seem very obnoxious to me.

I personally do not think that all religion, or belief in a deity is always, or necessarily, or by default, detrimental. It would depend on the particulars involved.

There are many conservative (and possibly some progressive) Christians who would have an automatic negative response to a post such as this one, if they believe it includes Christianity.

Yet, these same Christians (the conservatives especially) would not hesitate to recognize and acknowledge the negative, harmful ramifications of Satanism, militant Islam, or some types of atheist worldviews. They seem hesitant to admit that those who wear the same label as themselves – “Christian” – also at times express repulsive views or practice abuse.

RTS – Religious Trauma Syndrome

I believe this is Winell’s site – or Dr. Darrel Ray’s:

Recovering From Religion

Podcast: Living After Faith

Dr. Marlene Winell joins us for a discussion of Religious Trauma Syndrome and PTSD. Valerie Tarico’s interview with Dr. Winnell. Journey Free Dr. Marlene Winnell’s

The Health Effects of Leaving Religion

…Not every recent deconvert necessarily needs these resources, though. Some who leave religion become healthier than they were before. This was the case for Annie Erlandson.

…Other negative health behaviors sometimes associated with being religious, according to social psychologist Dr. Clay Routledge in Psychology Today, are cognitive dissonance (consistent religious doubts can harm your health) and avoidant coping.

An example of the latter is the attitude that things are “all in God’s hands,” which could potentially keep people from taking action on behalf of their own health.

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