• Maybe That’s The Real Reason Why Some Christians Want the Accused to Be Given A Pass

•Maybe That’s The Real Reason Why Some Christians Want the Accused to Be Given A Pass

I sometimes visit spiritual abuse blogs that also at times feature posts about how churches mishandle sexual abuse or domestic abuse cases.

Almost any time one of these blogs posts a new story about someone claiming they were sexually abused by someone in the church, reported the abuse to the church staff, the staff then swept the abuse under the rug and protected the accused, you can then expect several people to drop in to leave comments saying things like, “But we’re all sinners, who are you to judge the accused!”

Sometimes, the same thing happens in the secular world, and it got me to thinking.

Several months ago, movie actor Terry Crews revealed on social media that he had been groped by a Hollywood agent of some sort at a social function.

After Crews’ story about that groping incident went public, he was contacted by music producer Russell Simmons, who told Crews to give his groper a pass.

Terry Crews says Russell Simmons asked him to give target of sexual-assault allegations ‘a pass’

Terry Crews on Sunday posted a screenshot of an email he said was from entrepreneur-producer Russell Simmons that urged the actor to give the target of his sexual-assault allegations a pass.

Crews recently spoke out about his alleged assault at the hands of a “high-powered” male entertainment executive, who was later identified as WME agent Adam Venit. Venit is currently on leave from the agency.

The thing that makes this so ironic and interesting is that a month or two after this occurred, several women stepped forward to say that Simmons had groped, harassed, or raped them.

I blogged about Simmons recently here:

 He [Russell Simmons] Supposedly Realized Raping Women Was Wrong Only Until After He Had Daughters and Took Yoga Classes

Can you appreciate the significance of all this?

Here you have a man, Simmons, who allegedly raped several women, telling a male victim of sexual assault, Terry Crews, to just forgive his attacker and move on, as though nothing ever happened?

Crews is quite right to be angry at Simmons, since Simmons is a hypocrite.

Terry Crews Slams Russell Simmons After Producer Is Accused of Coercing Woman to Perform Oral Sex

Snippet from that page:

Terry Crews has slammed Russell Simmons after the producer was accused of sexually assaulting a teenage model in 1991 while director Brett Ratner allegedly watched.

On Sunday, Crews, 49, shared a screenshot of an email he allegedly received from Simmons about the Brooklyn Nine-Nine actor’s claims that he was sexually assaulted by agent Adam Venit.

In the message, Simmons allegedly urged Crews to “give the agent a pass [and] ask that he be reinstated.”

… Crews’ comments come just after the Los Angeles Times published a report in which a woman named Keri Claussen Khalighi claimed Simmons and Ratner sexually assaulted her when she was 17 years old.

Remember, too, how actor Ben Affleck spoke out about or against Harvey Weinstein on his social media, only for news to break a day or so later how Affleck himself had groped a few women years ago?

Ben Affleck condemned Harvey Weinstein — then apologized for groping an actress on MTV 


by L. Bever, Oct 2017

When the news broke that film producer Harvey Weinstein had apparently sexually harassed numerous actresses and other women he had worked with, Ben Affleck, who had starred in one of his films, said he was upset.

“Saddened and angry,” he wrote on Twitter, that “a man who I worked with used his position of power to intimidate, sexually harass and manipulate many women over the decades.”

Then the Internet sent the 45-year-old actor a gentle reminder — that he, too, had been inappropriate with women. That’s when former “Total Request Live” host Hilarie Burton tweeted a video clip from a documentary about the show in the early 2000s, showing her recalling a moment that Affleck “comes over and tweaks my left boob.”

Ben Affleck apologizes for groping Hilarie Burton on camera


October 11, 2017

Video of the incident [Affleck groping the woman] resurfaced Wednesday after Affleck joined a chorus of others in denouncing the actions of disgraced movie mogul Harvey Weinstein, who stands accused of numerous incidents of sexual harassment and three incidents of rape.

I take it that men who sexually harass or abuse people stick together. Harassers and perverts defend each other. Birds of a feather flock together sort of thing.

Sometimes, these abusers or harassers will be a hypocrite and condemn sexist acts another man commits – as Affleck did here in regards to Weinstein – but never admit to their own sexist acts against women, until their women victims call them out on their hypocrisy on social media.

If one man has or still does sexually harass others, he will act innocent and maybe at times even ask victims of other perverts to just forgive, forget, and move on – because these men asking others to forgive and forget themselves are guilty of the very same behavior.

All of this makes me wonder about the Christians on social media or who show up on blogs to say,
“Stop accusing Pastor X of sexual abuse, because that is so mean, and you’re a sinner, just like he is, so shut up about it.”

I wonder if the sorts of people who show up to make such statements do so because they themselves are guilty of sexual abuse or sexual harassment?

If I am right about this, and these Sexual Abuser Apologists are also guilty of sexual abuse, they just do not want anyone held accountable for sexual abuse, because if one abuser is held accountable, that might mean they are next to be held accountable too, and they do not want that.

Maybe these sorts of posters and Tweeters showing up to scream and yell, “How dare you judge Brother X, he’s a child of God like the rest of us are,” are less concerned about theology or the concept of God’s grace or forgiveness, than they are in wanting to live in a world of Status Quo, where they can forever grope and rape people but never be jailed or ostracized for their deviancy.

More On This Blog:

The Conservative (Right Wing) Criteria Required Before Believing Sexual Abuse Victims, As Put Forward by Some Conservatives – A Critique By A Conservative

On Men Not Believing Women and Being Blind to the Sexism and Harassment Women Often Endure

The Psychology of Victim-Blaming by K. Roberts

2 thoughts on “• Maybe That’s The Real Reason Why Some Christians Want the Accused to Be Given A Pass

  1. Wow. Just wow. I am currently in the stage of gathering information to write a book about complementarianism and gender roles, and I write about #metoo and the need to protect the least of these. I applaud your bravery and willingness to speak out on these important issues in the church.

    • Hello! Thank you.

      I saw your essay a few days ago (“The Christian Backlash Against #MeToo” – at least I assume you are the author of that work?), I bookmarked it, read it, and just placed excerpts of it on my blog. I thought it made some very good points.

      For blogging or tweeting about “Me Too” (or complementarianism or sexism in general), I’ve had a person or two accuse me of being a “misandrist” and so on.

      I don’t hate all men, but I do see sexism is a problem in our culture, even among Christians.

      I don’t like sexism. I’m amazed that some people confuse my anger at, or disgust with, sexism (by men against women) as me “hating all men.”

      On another note, I am very, very tired of people taking a movement (such as “Me Too”) that is primarily meant to address wrongs against women by men into a platform to address men, men’s grievances, or men’s concerns.

      The whole, “what about false sexual harassment allegations” pearl clutching, or men saying, “I”m confused now, is it wrong for me to compliment a woman co-worker over her appearance,” etc. type commentary is deflecting the damage sexism has had on women back on to men and MEN’S concerns.

      If so many men are that worked up over “I don’t know how to treat women at work,” or, “what if I am falsely accused of sexual abuse,” then why don’t they start their own Twitter hash trends of “#Confused Working Men” or “#Complimenting Lady Colleagues,” rather than over shadow what “Me Too” is all about?

      It’s quite like someone starting a “I Love Kitty Cats” hash trend on Twitter and dog lovers complaining that their pet dog has fleas, and why doesn’t someone start a campaign on behalf of dogs or the people who love dogs and list flea treatments?

      And don’t get me started on the people who say they’re worried that “Me Too” is conflating garden variety sexual harassing perverts into the same categories as the overt rapists, and how all that is supposedly a bad thing and that it trivializes rape. That objection bugs me too.

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