• This Is Not About All Men. Don’t Make It About You.

This Is Not About All Men. Don’t Make It About You.

I’ve noticed any time a woman (or women collectively) step forward to openly discuss their struggles – especially against “male on female” sexism – immediately, many men, or their female anti-feminists allies, hop into “defense mode” to either insist loudly and often that “not all men” are sexists (or are not sexual abusers), or, they like to try to derail a topic by arguing that (some) women are just as bad as men.

It’s repulsive to me that even situations that are of concern to women, that largely impact women more harshly, more often, or more severely than men, are always distorted and twisted to be turned into how these topics affect men.

Because as a society, I suppose we’re all supposed to care far, far more about men and the needs and feelings and jobs of men – than we are of women and women’s jobs, feelings, and needs.

I quite frankly do not care how the “Me Too” movement, or other women-centric causes, impact men, negatively or otherwise.

My level of concern is about confined only to the area that men who are currently sexist, or who sit around denying how rampant sexism is, will have their eyes opened to how common-place sexism is, even in a wonderful nation such as the United States.

Talkback caller’s heartfelt poem about violence against women resonates with listeners

by Nicole Mills

[Below audio sample on the page:

“Do not usurp my story / don’t tell me what to do / This is not about all men / Don’t make it about you”

Carmel shared this powerful poem about violence against women. Turn your sound on and take a moment for this.]

… But one caller to ABC Radio Melbourne has done an amazing job of uniting a huge number of women and men, who agreed her poem about society’s response to violence against women summed up their own feelings.

Carmel is a psychologist who works in the domestic violence field. She said she was fascinated by how “good, decent men often jump in to defend men, rather than listen to what women are saying”.

(By Carmel):

When I say I’m afraid of men who mean me harm,

You tell me not to make a fuss, there’s no need for alarm.

That not all men are like that, not to stress my pretty head,

Or talk about those other men just look at you instead.

But what of women suffering, a slap, a punch, a shove,

A life of menacing oppression from a man they love.

Not all men are sexist, not all men disrespect,

Not all men are the man who harms what he should protect.

Not all men are vicious, not all men are brutes,

Not all men are the man who punches, rapes and shoots.

Not all men use violence, most are courteous and kind,

But when I talk of toxic men, others feel maligned.

So I ask you to consider, when you jump in to defend,

How did speaking up for women become slandering of men?

Why is it when I voice my fears you first defend your brothers,

Instead of listening to your sisters, mothers or your lovers.

I need you to hear my voice and listen to my fears,

But you just keep on shouting louder and my voice just disappears.

Not all men will listen, not all men understand,

You tell me you are not all men, a verbal sleight of hand.

I can look at you and love you and yet still be afraid,

While so much deadly violence still seems to be man-made.

Do not usurp my story, don’t tell me what to do,

This is not about all men, don’t make it about you.


More On This Blog:

You Say You’re Against Victimhood Culture Yet You Depict All Men As Victims

Let’s Say Good-Bye To The Straw-Feminist by Cordelia Fine

Women (and the men) Who Argue Against Feminism, Who Claim Men and Masculinity Are Under Attack, Or Who Insist That There is Little, to No, Sexism In The U.S.A.

Article by H. Farrell that Muses About the Possible Reasons For The Extreme Push Back Against Equality and Feminism, Particularly by Conservative Men

The Flip Side of Toxic Masculinity: Conservatives and Anti-Feminists Have a Desire and Tendency to Depict All Women as Needy, Weak Vessels In Need of Perpetual Rescuing By Big, Strong, Capable Men

The Anti-Feminism Conservative Bias – (written by a Conservative)

The Me Too Twitter Campaign and ‘Why Do Men Still React in Shock to Women’s Sexual Assault Stories?’ (editorials)

On Men Not Believing Women and Being Blind to the Sexism and Harassment Women Often Endure

The Growing Partisan Divide Over Feminism by Peter Beinart – The Republican and Conservative Women Who Want to Remain in Denial About American Sexism

Are Schools or Pedagogical Systems Designed to Favor Girls Over Boys? No, Not By and Large

Take It From A Woman Who Has Worked In Tech For 25 Years: This Is No Witch Hunt by Stacey Epstein

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