• Toxic Masculinity – What It Is and What It Is Not – How Most Conservatives Misunderstand What It Is

 Toxic Masculinity – What It Is and What It Is Not – How Most Conservatives Misunderstand What It Is

I am a conservative. Until about 2 or 3 years ago, I was a Republican (since my teen years). I’m currently un-affiliated with any political party.

While I am empathetic towards some causes of feminists, and although I even agree with them on some subject matter some of the time, I do not consider myself to be a feminist, nor do I use the label to describe myself, primarily because the term has been co-opted by politically and socially left wing (liberal) women, and I remain conservative (right wing).

I’m embarrassed at how frequently other conservatives misunderstand or misrepresent some liberal or feminist views points.

I have actually spent time reading what liberals say on their own web sites and trying to understand their views, rather than only relying on a second-hand summary of their views by well-known conservative talking heads such as Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, and Tucker Carlson.

I’ve found that the famous conservatives often misunderstand feminists on many points, including the phrase “Toxic Masculinity.”

When your average conservative hears the phrase “Toxic Masculinity,” they assume it means that all masculinity is toxic and that all men are bad or evil.

However, that is not what the phrase “Toxic Masculinity” means.

I do wish that my fellow conservatives would stop creating straw-man arguments about the concept of Toxic Masculinity. Stop misrepresenting the term and mocking it – you’re often not even mocking what the term actually means. You’re mocking your misunderstanding of the phrase, and as someone who is a conservative, I find that very embarrassing.

Here are other sites whose authors explain what Toxic Masculinity is and what it is not:

My Kingdom for A World of Such Men: 3 Hallmarks of Healthy Masculinity

By Rachel Asproth

… But what is “toxic masculinity”? Without a more detailed explanation, the term can leave us with a bad taste in our mouths. It can inspire defensiveness, largely because it’s been misunderstood to mean that all masculinity is toxic. But it actually refers only to negative cultural expressions of masculinity that encourage violence, aggression, misogyny, and entitlement in boys and men.

Toxic masculinity is masculinity that leads to misogynistic movements like Incel and Red Pill. It’s the kind of masculinity that equates being men with the instinct to conquer and control and designates women supporting characters and sexual objects.

Toxic masculinity can be very subtle. When our boys “misbehave,” we indulge it. We say “boys will be boys,” or “men are pigs” instead of “your behavior is unacceptable.” That indulgence teaches our sons that they are by nature takers and breakers.

This kind of masculinity also makes it difficult for men to speak up about abuse or process trauma, grief, and anger. We tell our sons that “boys don’t cry” and then wonder why they’re emotionally unavailable.

In so many little ways, we teach and encourage men to hide their feelings and to behave with aggressive entitlement toward others. This is the fruit of toxic masculinity.

Now Is Not The Time To Wail About ‘Toxic Masculinity By Clementine Ford

You may have heard the term “toxic masculinity” used a fair bit recently, but maybe you’re still unsure what it actually refers to. Does it mean you have to hate men? Not if you don’t want to! Feminism is about choice, after all! (It’s really not, that is an extremely simplistic take.)

… Contrary to the view of online trolls, the term “toxic masculinity” doesn’t mean “all men are toxic and they should be forced to establish a separatist, sealed off community in an abandoned network of sewerage pipes”.

Rather, it’s a way to define a particular set of behaviours that are born out of harmful patriarchal expectations of masculinity and that in turn cause harm to other people.

Here are just three broad examples:

1. Being a petulant, whiny man-baby about everything that even vaguely threatens your position in the world

The world has just witnessed an incredible display of humanity and solidarity in the Thai cave rescue. A team of divers and medical experts worked round the clock to rescue twelve young boys and their soccer coach, finally liberating them after 18 days spent underground.

And how have some twits chosen to respond?

By sarcastically tweeting rubbish like “Thank goodness for all the TOXIC MASCULINITY in Thailand, helping to save those boys!” and attempting to pillory cultural conversations about equality by feigning disgust at the lack of gender diverse and LGBTQI divers participating in the rescue mission.

On Sky News, Rowan Dean told his four viewers, “It wasn’t a bunch of genderfluid divers that went down there. It wasn’t a bunch of touchy-feely identity politics diverse and inclusive unconscious bias mob who saved those boys lives. It was solid Western know-how and technology.” Because he’s an ignorant buffoon as well as a racist, he also said that the rescue wouldn’t have happened without coal power.

There’s a paper-thin line between fragile masculinity and toxic masculinity, and these responses are enthusiastically straddling it. To acknowledge the achievements of a rescue team that’s delivered twelve children back to their parents safely and applaud a stateless orphan for keeping them calm and alive for the two weeks is not toxic masculinity. Using this event to make a petulant point about diversity and feminism is, ironically, the toxic masculinity in question.

And, Rowan Dean: FYI, it may have been men who rescued those kids in Thailand, but it’s also men who are locking them up on Nauru. The key ingredient here isn’t masculinity, it’s humanity.

Please click here to read the rest of that article.

More On This Blog:

Conservatives Rage Over Report That Finds Toxic Masculinity is Bad For Men’s Health by Z. Ford

Conservatives Are Wrong to Dismiss Feminism by S. Quinlan

Jesus’ Vision for Masculinity: The (Actual) Best A Man Can Get by Rob Dixon 

You Say You’re Against Victimhood Culture Yet You Depict All Men As Victims

Let’s Say Good-Bye To The Straw-Feminist by Cordelia Fine

The Right Should Reject Tucker Carlson’s Victimhood Populism by D. French

Toxic Femininity, the Flip Side of Toxic Masculinity, and the Love of Scientific- Sounding Jargon to Endorse Sexism – Sexist Beliefs and Practices are Acceptable so Long As There is a Scientific Study That Defends Them

The Flip Side of Toxic Masculinity: Conservatives and Anti-Feminists Have a Desire and Tendency to Depict All Women as Needy, Weak Vessels In Need of Perpetual Rescuing By Big, Strong, Capable Men

Former NFL Player Says ‘Masculinity Can Be A Cult’

The Anti-Feminism Conservative Bias (written by a Conservative)

Women (and the men) Who Argue Against Feminism, Who Claim Men and Masculinity Are Under Attack, Or Who Insist That There is Little, to No, Sexism In The U.S.A.

On Men Not Believing Women and Being Blind to the Sexism and Harassment Women Often Endure

The Growing Partisan Divide Over Feminism by Peter Beinart – The Republican and Conservative Women Who Want to Remain in Denial About American Sexism

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