Lydia Malone of TWW and Other Sites
(For those of you who signed up to follow this blog for its posts about mental health topics, sexism, complementarianism, or the Me Too movement, my apologies, but this is post will be a divergence from the usual.)
I initially began a post about Lydia Malone of The Wartburg Watch blog, SBC Today’s site, and other blogs around February 2018.
That post has been sitting in the Draft Status area of this blog for a long time. I may copy and post large portions of it into this post.
It is now February 2019. I should’ve blogged about this months ago and never did.
It’s been a few months since I last blogged about this person, and I don’t recall everything I wrote previously, and I may be copying some content from the draft status post into this one, so I apologize if any of this is repetitive.
Just as I warned people about former Wartburg Watch blog participants Christiane and Velour in an older post, I am warning people about Lydia in this one, or to be cautious about her.
She’s not quite what she seems.
I also wrote about my issues with Lydia in this post on my blog, here:
Lydia is an individual who I got to know at first at The Wartburg Watch blog, and I think she used to post to Spiritual Sounding Board blog for awhile as well. As of May 2018, she occasionally posts to the SBC Today site.
Sometime in 2017 (or possibly late 2016?), I reached out to Lydia on Twitter.
I asked Lydia if I could chat with her via Twitter’s private message system (DM-ing, Direct Messaging).
It was around that time that Christiane and Velour – other commentators at TWW blog (you can read more about those two in this post) – were acting quite nutty or hostile at that TWW blog.
I was therefore asking Lydia in private if she knew what was going on with that, and why on earth were TWW blog’s owners, Deb and Dee, permitting those two to bully or undermine people in the comments and dominate the blog so much.
I told Lydia privately that as TWW leans liberal in the comment box, and I am a conservative, and that being direct with others is frowned upon there, I did not feel comfortable discussing this stuff in public, especially not over at TWW itself.
I also sensed that Lydia felt the same way about TWW’s culture in the comment box that I did, so she’d be a “safe” person to talk to about this stuff.
Hence, my DMs (direct messages on Twitter) to Lydia.
In brief, a few of my issues with Lydia:
Lydia was apparently stalking my Twitter account, mostly over 2017, to hound me and harass me over any and all tweets I made relating to James Damore (of Google memo fame) and the “Me Too” movement.
If you’re not aware of who James Damore is, or what his memo for Google was all about, you can check out older posts on my blog for more about that. You can read part 1 here.
Lydia was commenting via quoting, pasting, the URLs of my Tweets into Tweets she composed, so that they showed up in my Notifications area on Twitter.
This behavior went on for weeks to months, and I eventually asked Lydia several times to please stop, but she continued doing this.
I at first thought Lydia would grow bored with calling out my Damore or MeToo tweets, so I generally said and did nothing early on, assuming she would eventually stop.
But she kept right on.
The absolute final straw for me is when I tried telling Lydia that the James Damore topic (and some other issues pertaining to sexism) were “hot button” issues for me, emotional or sensitive ones, ones I did not care to debate about with her or with anyone, and I asked her would she please back off.
Like a complete ass-hat, she replied to that request of mine by … mocking that Tweet of mine.
That behavior from her came after months and months of me having befriended her (or so I thought) on Twitter.
I exchanged many private messages (called DMs on Twitter, “Direct Messages”) with Lydia, where we more or less seemed to get along just fine. I’ll explain more about all that below.
A few of the things Lydia told me in DMs she told me to keep private, which I will.
As far as I recall, Lydia did not expressly forbid me from mentioning any of the following publicly:
I will say after watching Lydia in action on blogs, other sites, and on Twitter, and in her DMs to me, she seems to
- strongly dislike, or even be paranoid and contemptuous of, certain survivor blog participants and blog owners,
- she seems to resent, or be jealous of, people who live comfortably (people who have a lot of money, who are financially secure and stable), and
- she absolutely hates Christiane, who was a former commentator at TWW.
- Lydia doesn’t like or trust Wade Burleson of Istoria Ministries blog. She seems to think he’s a phony, nothing but a political player and an opportunist, which she made clear publicly as well, on other blogs (such as the SBC Today blog, and Burleson replied to some of her posts there).
As of May 2018, Lydia’s Twitter account is suspended, so I am unable to directly link to some of the objectionable tweets she sent me a few months ago that are under discussion in this post on my blog.
I believe Lydia’s Twitter handle is @lydiamalone00 and her Twitter page, when not suspended, would appear at this URL:
Lydia’s Twitter account can be viewed on Google Cache.
(Update: at least at one time her Twitter account could be viewed that way, but I guess no more.)
I’m looking over her most recent Tweets as displayed on that cached page and cannot tell what it was that got her account suspended.
This Tweet by Lydia (again via Google cache) was made in March 2018, so she was active on Twitter at least that long before being given the boot.
But then, your main Twitter page doesn’t list all the Tweets you send out under other people’s Tweets, so perhaps she got into some nasty argument with someone else, and they got her account suspended?
One Tweet of Lydia’s to me in particular was in very poor taste, but because her account is now suspended, I am unable to link directly to it. I will have to describe its contents and provide a screen shot of it below.
I bookmarked Lydia’s Tweets a few months ago when all this was going on, in order to link to them in this post, but using those bookmarks now (May 2018) does an auto-forward to a Twitter page that says “This account has been suspended.”
Good lord only knows what Lydia did to get suspended by Twitter.
My guess is that Lydia did to someone else what she did to me in months past, which I described in a post or two on my blog, such as this one:
That is, I am guessing Lydia kept doggedly pursuing or harassing someone repeatedly over some issue or another and would not drop it, even though the person asked her several times to please drop the matter and leave them alone about it.
Lydia did that to me in regards to the James Damore Google Memo and many “Me Too” related tweets I sent out. She kept hounding me over a period of months, even though I asked her a few times – and I was very polite about this for months on end – to please back off.
I told Lydia a few times she was welcome to hold whatever views she wished to hold regarding those people or subjects, but I did not personally care to debate them with her, or to see her push-back on those matters, in my Twitter notification box, and yet…
And yet, Lydia still kept quoting my Tweets back at me, with her comments above them, a practice which I refer to as “sub-tweeting” my Tweets, about Damore and “Me Too,” so that her argumentative commentary would show up in my Notification area.
That is, Lydia would often copy the URLs of my specific Me-Too and Damore related Tweets, paste them into a “Compose a Tweet” box on her own account, write a critical comment in her Tweet above the URL to my Tweet URL, then hit the “publish” button, so that her comment would show up above my Tweet, and the result would show up in my Notifications area.
Lydia was thus repeating my Tweets back to me, but with her comments attached at the top.
(Unfortunately, how I use the phrase “sub tweet” and how most online use it are two different things – most define sub-tweeting as making a “subtle” dig at someone without using their name with the “@” symbol, which is not how I personally entirely define it.)
To put this yet another way:
I am talking about a manner of Tweeting where Person 2 copies an URL of Person 1’s Tweet into their own Tweet and then publishes it. When one does that, it sometimes shows up in Person 1’s Notification area of their Twitter account.
I asked Lydia to please stop doing that, I asked her several times to please stop sub-tweeting my tweets at me, because I did not want to see her argumentative commentary – and it was showing up in my Twitter notifications almost every time I logged in, even days apart, which really annoyed me.
I thought Lydia was my friend, or considered me to be one of hers, so I thought she’d respect my wishes or my feelings, but no.
(Feelings are irrelevant to Lydia. She places a premium on rationality and logic only. She should read the article excerpted here:
Lydia tweeted back at me that she had no idea what I was talking about regarding the sub-tweeting of my tweets, so I wrote back and explained what I meant by the term “sub-tweeting.” I again asked her to please stop doing that.
Did she? No.
I even sent Lydia a sample or two of what a sub-tweet looked like.
To do that, at one point, I, at random, selected one of her tweets and sub-tweeted one of her Tweets back at her, so she could see how it works.
She once more feigned ignorance of what sub-tweeting was, even after I gave her an example of it.
I find it very difficult to believe that someone who is on Twitter as much as Lydia was – she practically lived on Twitter twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, as much as Velour used to live on Wartburg Watch blog (which was constantly) – could be that ignorant of what sub-tweeting was.
I think Lydia knew damn well what she was doing with me on Twitter, but was playing at being obtuse.
I have more to say about one of Lydia’s sub-tweets later on.
Apparently Stalking My Twitter Page
One of the creepy things about all this sub-tweeting is that in order to accomplish her purpose of singling out my Damore or MeToo Tweets, Lydia was apparently visiting my Daisy Twitter home page and scrolling down it to find any James Damore or Me Too Tweets I had made.
I realize that Twitter has a feature that will bump certain Tweets from people on your contact list to the top of your list when you first log in so you are sure to see the best Tweets from people you follow, but from the way I was Tweeting, I don’t think that was how Lydia was accessing my Damore or MeToo Tweets.
I will explain here:
What would happen is that I would sometimes stay off my Daisy Twitter account for days at a time, or for around a week, or more.
I would not so much as log in to lurk, even. I was totally, completely off the Daisy Twitter account for days at a time.
Then I would log back on to the Daisy Twitter account after a few days, make a few Tweets (some that may or may not include Damore or MeToo content), and get off again, for a day or two.
When I would next visit that account and Tweet some more, and if Lydia happened to be on Twitter at the same time, I guess once she saw my name going through her Twitter feed, she would then click on the “Daisy” name attached to whatever new Tweet of mine she saw, to go to my Twitter page.
(Lydia did that a few times when I had not even tweeted anything at all about Damore or MeToo on that particular visit that day to Twitter. Maybe the last time I had Tweeted about Damore had been three or four days prior.)
And from there, she was having to scroll down to see when I had lasted Tweeted, if at all, about “Me Too” or James Damore.
Lydia seemed bound and determined to sub-tweet any of my MeToo or Damore tweets and wanted to be sure she had not overlooked any – even if any such tweets by me had been made days or weeks prior!
If memory serves, I don’t think she allowed a single Damore or MeToo tweet to go by un-commented upon by her.
So, the moment Lydia found a Damore or MeToo tweet on my Daisy home page (even if it was days old), one she had not previously commented on, she would single it out, and comment on it, using a method that would cause it to show up in my Notification box.
The first few times this happened, or Lydia started to debate me a bit about MeToo in private Twitter messages, I either bit my tongue and said nothing, or only briefly just said, “I disagree with you on this matter,” and I didn’t mention it further.
I was trying not to engage her in debating these subjects.
I was not interested in arguing these subjects with her, or with anyone else, for that matter.
Yet, Lydia would keep bringing up these subjects with me in DMs, and especially go on a hunting expedition on my main Twitter page, looking for any MeToo or Damore tweets.
Remember, sometimes days would go by between my Damore or MeToo tweets, because I was not visiting my Twitter account every day.
Even on days I did visit it, I did not always Tweet about Damore or MeToo. For Lydia to find my Damore or MeToo Tweets, she would purposefully have to visit my “Daisy” page, and scroll down the page to look for them.
Lydia must be obsessed with those subjects, or obsessed with me not supporting Damore and being in support of #MeToo.
Lydia was stalking my main Twitter page for months to find any tweets by me about Damore or MeToo, and she jumped on one each and any time I Tweeted on those topics.
Maybe it grinds Lydia’s gears I regard Damore’s memo as being sexist, prejudiced swill (not as a “free speech” matter), and maybe it burns her chaps I’m in general support of women speaking out against sexual harassment via the Twitter “MeToo” hash tag.
Regardless of Lydia’s motivations, I found it weird, annoying, and creepy that over a period of weeks to months, she kept stalking my Twitter page to find any MeToo or Damore mentions, specifically to sub-tweet them back at me.
It’s as though Lydia had some agenda going on.
Lydia can support Damore and his memo as much as she likes – but I wanted her to keep her comments about it to herself, not subject me to them – ditto on her criticisms of the “Me Too” movement.
Support Damore and criticize Damore on your own dime, your own time, don’t tweet me or DM me about it, was all I was telling her. But she kept confronting me over it.
Lydia loves James Damore’s Google Memo and she hates the MeToo movement: I get it, there is NO NEED for her to keep tweeting me about it or trying to bring it up on other blogs or DMing me about it to bait me into a debate.
My mind-set on this matter: you love Damore and his obnoxious memo, and you hate MeToo, great for you; but get out of my face about it. Enough already.
It’s like with all the Christian Trump haters I see on social media: I get it already, you guys hate the man, now kindly keep your anti-Trump sentiments off my Twitter feed every two seconds round the clock – the non-stop Trump hate gets tiresome.
I had to block dozens upon dozens of Non-Christian Trump Haters and Christian Trump haters in the last year or two, because they tweet about hating Trump 24 hours a day, and it’s extremely tiresome (I didn’t even vote for Trump!)
Lydia’s love of Damore and his stupid memo, and her throwing him in my face every time I logged on to Twitter, or Tweeting me about her dislike of “MeToo,” was equally tiresome.
In the last year or so, I have read articles and editorials both pro and con regarding Damore, Damore’s memo, and the MeToo movement.
Believe me, I didn’t blindly fall into either one side or the other, and my opinions on the Damore memo were not formed only or primarily on emotional considerations, so I don’t need Lydia schooling me or challenging me on these topics.
I have told Lydia privately before, and I’ve also said publicly on this blog and on other people’s blogs, that I was brought up in an un-supportive, sexist, verbally and emotionally abusive family.
In my family, and the churches I was raised in (which was Southern Baptist), girls and women were not encouraged or taught to be outspoken, assertive, or independent.
I was taught by both Christian culture and my biological family that my opinions do not matter, and at that, partly because I am female.
So, any topics pertaining to sexism are “hot button” issues for me. It’s not merely an intellectual exercise for me to tweet about or blog about these topics.
I am not here to debate you – Lydia or whomever else – on sexism.
The “MeToo” movement is largely a good development, because it’s enabling women to speak up and out about sexual harassment they have faced, particularly in employment, and the movement has helped to bring down some very powerful, sexist male predators.
Sexism is wrong, and I believe Damore and his stupid memo were sexist, period, end of story.
If you repeatedly push me on this, you’re only pissing me off. Lydia kept pushing me on this, wanting to argue that the Damore memo was not sexist but only misunderstood, and that “MeToo” was bad because-
I couldn’t figure Lydia out on that one all the way – “Me Too” is supposedly bad because it MIGHT possibly ensnare a few “innocent” men?
-Or maybe Lydia is not keen on “MeToo” because it’s a “movement” and “she doesn’t do movements” as she proudly repeated ad nauseum on any blog she visits.
I do recall Lydia saying on one blog, and possibly on Twitter, she does not like “Me Too,” because she feels that women using that hash tag to discuss being groped or cat-called by male bosses somehow diminishes rape.
How or why a tag meant to call out all forms of sexual harassment and abuse by men against women diminishes rape, I will never comprehend – because it does no such thing.
At any rate, after Lydia kept offering criticisms of my Tweets above my Tweets, and those were showing up in my in-box on Twitter any time I logged in, and I did not wish to see them, I asked her nicely a few times to back off on this, and she would not relent.
Lydia was like the Terminator cyborg hunting Sarah Connor, and I was Sarah Connor in this analogy. And does that ever get tiresome.
I pointed out to Lydia that these are sensitive topics for me, given my childhood experiences and upbringing, which months before, in private, she claimed she was sympathetic about and understood.
I had explained to Lydia on more than one occasion that my father never supported me, and I never felt accepted by my father.
My Dad was (and still kind of remains), hyper-critical, constantly negative, he complained all the time, taught me that making mistakes is shameful (so I grew up as a perfectionist), and the only time my Dad spoke to me was to criticize me, mock my physical appearance, belittle any accomplishments I had made, and so forth.
I did not grow up with the attentive, positive, sweet, loving, accepting, nurturing father that Lydia said she did in her DMs to me.
However, when Lydia kept rudely pushing the Damore and MeToo matters with me on Twitter, I asked her, in all seriousness, under a Tweet she sent my way about one of these issues, and where I had asked her to cease and desist with her harassment, to drop the subject WITH ME and leave it alone:
(I have screen shots of some of these Tweets I will add to this post far below):
@MsDaisyFlower said [to Lydia]:
“It’s [sexism] a hot topic for me. You have no emotional empathy?”
Lydia actually replied to that by tweeting it back to me via quoting it, sub-tweeting it at me, such as:
—Begin Tweet by Lydia —
@lydiamalone00 said [to @MsDaisyFlower – quoting Daisy’s comments back at Daisy]:
“It’s [sexism] a hot topic for me. You have no emotional empathy?”
@MsDaisyFlower said [to Lydia]:
“It’s [sexism] a hot topic for me. You have no emotional empathy?”
—End Tweet by Lydia —
I would be delighted to provide readers with a link to the direct quote where Lydia pulled this disgusting stunt, but I am unable to do so:
As of May 2018, Lydia’s Twitter account has been suspended for reasons I do not know (though it gives me a feeling of schadenfreude).
Lydia was quoting my own words back at me, as though she was ridiculing or mocking me. It is very immature and rude.
It’s exactly the way an eight year old child would behave in order to taunt another eight year old child on a playground, to get under her skin.
This reaction showed a complete lack of sensitivity and was a total dick move on Lydia’s part. Lydia was being bitchy.
I never once pulled anything like that on Lydia, and I had considered her an internet friend, or at least a friendly internet acquaintance.
How wrong I was.
Still, I gave Lydia the benefit of the doubt after she parroted my own words back at me, and I did so at least three times in a row, because right under her taunting tweet, where she was repeating my quote at me, I asked her quite specifically,
“What did you mean by repeating these words back at me?”
I was trying to get Lydia to clarify her intent, so as not to accuse her of something she did not do or mean to do.
I waited and tweeted that question back to Lydia about 3 to 5 minutes later, under her same Tweet, once more got no response from her, waited another 5 minutes or so, and asked her again. Still no reply from Lydia.
I think Lydia’s lack of response indicates her guilt: she knows damn well she was mocking or taunting me by repeating my words back to me.
As nutty, slimy, insincere, and under-handed former Wartburg Watch participant Christiane was, and as hostile and nutty as Velour could behave on TWW blog, the Istoria blog, and the Griggs’ TWW-hate blog … Lydia is apparently no better.
As far as I’m concerned, and unless I ever get a satisfactory explanation and apology from Lydia on these concerns, Lydia is the flip side of the same coin as Christiane. I think I told her that in a DM I sent her months ago.
Really Lydia, if you are reading this (and I bet you are – you and Christiane lurk at blogs you don’t post to), you’re acting the way Christiane does. And you despise Christiane for these very behaviors. That makes no sense to me.
Christiane and Lydia
Christiane is a problematic woman who posts to many evangelical Baptist and Protestant blogs and sites.
Christiane claims to be a Roman Catholic, and she’s out to convert disgruntled Baptists to the Roman Catholic faith – at first glance.
After seeing Christiane in action, though, I began to get the sick feeling that she actually enjoys playing mind games with people.
Christiane baits people she chats with on various blogs by oozing syrupy sweet, fake caring and empathy.
However, in the next breath, Christiane will be indirectly insulting you if she feels you are a conservative and not in step with liberal causes, or, if Christiane feels the rest of a blog’s commentators do not like you for whatever reason.
Christiane only pretends to like you until she feels other blog members have turned on you – she’s a fair weather blog friend.
I guess she is not so interested in saving your soul and converting you to Catholicism once she senses you’re on the “outs” with other blog commentators, or once she finds out you’re not a liberal.
I am most definitely not a fan of Christiane and never have been.
So no, I sure don’t blame Lydia for distrusting or disliking Christiane.
However, Lydia seemed almost obsessed with Christiane.
When I first began sending private DMs to Lydia on Twitter, my main concern was Velour at that time. Velour was acting totally crazy and unglued in the comments at TWW.
Lydia, though, almost always wanted to steer the comments back to Christiane.
Even after Christane was banned or put on slow moderation at the Wartburg Watch blog, so that she was no longer a problem – at least not for me – Lydia would periodically send me DMs telling me Christiane was posting at blog X, Y, or Z.
Lydia would sometimes send me links to these blogs Christiane was visiting, or send me the URLs to specific blog posts by Christiane.
Some of the links Lydia sent me were directly to posts Christiane made at other sites where she dropped my screen name – “Daisy” – where she was telling a woman named “Mary” that she felt that “Mary” was really me posting under that name.
(I have never posted online anywhere under the name of “Mary.”)
I was incensed when I saw that, so I went to that site (which I believe was “SBC Today”) and told Christiane, “I am not posting to this blog under the name ‘Mary,’ so knock off all these accusations.”
At first, I did not think much of Lydia sending those links to me.
Looking back on it all, though, and even about half way through all this drama, I think Lydia’s dislike of Christiane runs so very deep that she was perhaps egging me on behind the scenes to give Christiane the smack down.
I think Lydia was hoping I’d get angry enough to run over and tell Christiane off.
I was a proxy for Lydia and Lydia enjoyed seeing me bite Christiane’s head off.
Lydia seems to have a very long-lasting deep-seated hatred of Christiane, which I found strange – kind of like “Seneca Griggs” years- long crusade against Deb and Dee of TWW, and he even constructed an entire blog for the express purpose of nit-picking them daily or weekly.
I don’t like or trust Christiane myself, but I am not really in the habit of following Christiane around the internet all the time, keeping tabs on her and arguing with her.
My impression after having interacted with Lydia for over a year is that, while she’s not as obvious about it, and her methods may differ a bit, she is just as manipulative as Christiane, and about as insincere.
Double Standards: Free Speech and Thought Policing
As I explained in an older post on this blog of mine, Lydia takes great pride in supposedly supporting free speech, yet her constant haranguing of me regarding my tweets of Damore or “MeToo” on Twitter reveal otherwise.
I can only guess her strategy is to harass someone repeatedly on certain subjects until they stop tweeting about it entirely. That is not being supportive of free speech.
Lydia claimed to me that she is against Thought Policing – it annoys her when liberals engage in it – yet she was doing it to me.
I’m not allowed to blog or Tweet my opinions on certain topics and be left alone and unmolested by her, unless I agree with her opinions on those topics. That seems to be a watered-down version of Thought Policing to me.
If I were a speaker on a college campus, the liberals would throw rocks at me and set fires to tables, while Lydia would continually heckle me from the crowd. She wouldn’t throw rocks at me, or damage property, but she’d stand in the back heckling.
How is being more indirect in discouraging of a person expressing her opinion any better or more defensible than a more overt, intimidating reaction?
Lydia and Sexism, Feminism
Lydia misunderstands some points of secular, liberal feminism, and she misunderstands and sometimes misrepresents the “Me Too” movement. (As do conservative television host Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, and other conservatives).
Lydia has told me in no uncertain terms, at least once on TWW blog, I believe, that she is definitely opposed to sexism, but she seems to reject all of liberal feminism, and, she rejects it uncritically (a lot of conservatives do this).
I doubt how committed she is to opposing sexism, considering some of her positions on other topics, or how she behaves. But you bring that up with her, and she acts deeply offended.
Lydia seems to think a man tweeting an “anti feminist” or “pro man” comment is acceptable behavior and must be an okay guy who respects women, but often times, such guys turn out to be sexist slobs (if you bother to look at their other tweets, or ask them follow-up questions to their seeming innocuous “pro man” tweet). So why is she approvingly sharing their content online?
These sexist slobs are not, contrary to what Lydia assumes, rejecting feminism due to benevolent, well thought out reasons, fears of misandry, or because they fear an over-reach or excess of liberal feminists, but because they simply dislike women (they only respect women who are conservative who “know their place,” the type of women who support and defend traditional gender roles).
Lydia seems somewhat naive, especially concerning sexist men on social media.
Over a year ago, when Lydia and I were following one another on Twitter, I once saw her approvingly re-tweet a tweet by a man who was stating that women are gold-diggers, and society never chastizes women for wanting to take advantage of a man financially.
Lydia was sharing that tweet as if to say she thinks people should be even-handed in how they discuss sexism, that men can be victims of sexism by women and so on.
Well, I’ve seen sexist men – who are usually members of sexist or misogynistic groups such as “incels” or “MRAs” on Reddit – tweet such things.
Something about that man’s tweet and the replies below his “women are gold-diggers” tweet made me suspect he’s a sexist.
So, I began to very politely confront the guy. I asked him some questions, I pointed out that my sister, myself, and several other women I know have in fact been financially exploited by men, contrary to his view that all women are gold diggers who mooch off men.
Shortly after this, the man and some of his little minions began telling me sexist things such as “Go make me a sandwich.”
I then sub-tweeted some of those sexist comments to Lydia so that she could see their tweets for herself, so she could see the sexist reactions I was getting from that man she quoted, and what his friends were saying to me.
I was trying to tell her,
“When you see a “pro-man” man tweet online, a man who is critical of feminism and so on, do not jump to the conclusion that the guy respects women. Most of these guys are sexists who dislike women, and they complain women have life ‘easier’ than men, etc. They constantly depict men as being the victims of women or of feminism.”
And I sent her copies of some of the sexist tweets I got from that guy and his friends.
Later, Lydia then Tweeted me or sent me a direct message saying she wished I had given her a “heads up” first about all that, which I did not understand.
I guess she was expecting me to warn her in advance I was going to dialog with the guy to find out his opinions about women and so on?
Lydia prides herself also in being very logical and rational.
She thinks most liberals are too emotion-based.
I don’t have a problem with people using logic.
I agree that sometimes a lot of liberals are led more by emotion than logic.
On the other hand, I am not a full supporter of denying emotion, or ridiculing people or playing Tone Police if they show or experience emotion when discussing a topic they feel deeply about.
Emotions can and do play a role in why people do what they do and think what they think.
I don’t think it’s mutually exclusive, ‘Logic Vs. Emotion.’ I think it’s entirely possible for people to arrive at a conclusion on a topic based on Logic, but to also feel strongly about that topic.
It’s not as though feeling strongly about something automatically invalidates that person’s opinion on whatever that topic is.
I tried to explain to Lydia, also, that I come from a family where having or showing emotion was frowned upon.
In the family I come from, it’s considered weak and shameful to admit to other people if you are hurting, having a tough time in life. You’re not supposed to cry in front of other people.
I was expected by my father to be and act like a robot. Robots don’t have emotions or problems, you see.
My parents and my church taught me that as I was a female, it is forbidden for me to ever express anger. I should not even be feeling anger (women aren’t supposed to even FEEL anger.)
As a woman, they said, I should only smile and act pleasant all the time, no matter how badly someone treated me, no matter how upset or tired I was.
I was, as I’ve explained ad nauseum on this blog and on others, taught and conditioned to be codependent.
What does that entail? It entails, among other things:
I was discouraged from having boundaries. I was taught my feelings did not matter.
I was taught to sit quietly and endure bullying, taunts, insults, and verbally abusive tirades from family, bosses, co-workers, teachers, whomever.
I was given the message that my feelings and needs were not to be respected, and I had no right to defend them if abused (verbally or physically).
My Sister On The Phone
A few months after my mother died, my father began pushing me to do “X.” (I don’t want to say what “X” was.)
My father mentioned this to my older sister.
I had already explained to my father that I was in grief over losing Mom and was in no mental condition, at that time, to do “X.”
I asked him to please back off about X. (I think he eventually backed off and left me alone about X for a long time, to his credit.)
However, as I said, my father had mentioned wanting me to do “X’ to my older sister, too.
So within about two, three months of our mother passing, my sister calls me on the phone, a land line phone, and keeps pressuring me to do X, because our Dad had told her that he wants me to do X.
I told her this was not an easy topic for me, would she please cease and desist?
But no. My sister kept right on badgering me over the phone about X.
I asked her politely several more times to please change the topic, because discussing X was getting me upset and provoking anxiety.
She didn’t care, she kept right on yakking about X, pressuring me to do X.
I then began crying over the phone because I found the pressure anxiety provoking and disturbing. She wouldn’t back off.
I again implored her to change the topic, I did not want to hear more about X.
However, my sister wouldn’t shut up about X, and kept hounding me about X.
I then began loudly sobbing. (I even had snot running out of my nose and everything at this stage.)
I know my sister could hear me crying over the phone, she could hear that she had upset me, but did she stop badgering me over something I found troubling – like a normal, caring person would have done?
Why no, because this is my emotionally and verbally abusive big sister we’re talking about, who has never respected my boundaries or wishes, even if I very weakly and meekly tried to enforce them.
I guess my big sister got the message from my Dad when we were growing up that Daisy’s feelings don’t matter, I’m not supposed to defend myself when my feelings are being stomped on, so she feels quite fine stomping all over my wishes and feelings.
This nightmare ended only when I slammed the phone down on her, because I mentally could not endure, for even one more moment, sitting there with her coming at me and refusing to back down, though I asked her many times to please stop.
I did not give her warning, I did not say “bye” first – I just slammed the phone down on her.
This is the kind of family I come from. My boundaries are ignored, disrespected, and my wishes are not honored.
My feelings don’t matter, they are there to be stepped on.
Even if I ask you ten times in a row to please stop doing Z to me, what I want does not matter, my family will keep doing Z to me.
Do you think I enjoy this sort of behavior now, years later, from anyone?
Do I appreciate it when I kindly and politely ask a person 453,675 times to please stop badgering me about this or that topic, I don’t care to debate it or discuss it with you, yet that person keeps coming at me?
No, I do not enjoy it. Not one bit.
It’s Verbal / Emotional Abuse
Hounding someone over a topic, and despite the fact they have asked you to stop throwing it in their face, is a form of bullying and emotional abuse. You’re not respecting that person’s boundaries.
And that was what Lydia Malone was pulling on me for a year or more over different topics on Twitter.
My impression is Lydia smugly thinks she is superior to anyone who she perceives to be “too emotional” on a topic, or who acts in an emotional state, or who admits “thus and so gets me upset,” because she’s Miss Logical all the time.
Does Lydia ever operate on emotions or even feel them, like the rest of us pathetic humans? No.
Lydia was assembled in a CyberDyne or Sky Net facility, apparently.
I think Lydia has kids, at least one young adult daughter (and I don’t think this is a private fact about her)?
If that is so, Lydia, if you are reading this, and you have at least one child, what the hell did you do when your daughter was a kid and scraped her knee, came crying to you, as kids do, wanting not just a Band-Aid, but cuddles?
Did you instead condescendingly lecture her to stop her crying? Did you shame her for being “too emotional” and tell her to “suck it up buttercup?”
How about if she was bullied at school as a kid and came home crying about it? Did you coldly dismiss her tears? Tell her to go read some Plato and Socrates?
My own mother had her own set of flaws, but she did usually at least express caring, concern, and empathy when I came to her, especially as a kid, crying because I had a boo-boo, or because some mean kid at school bullied me.
My Mom would not only clean my scraped knee up and slap a bandage on it, but she’d hug on me and tell me everything would be okay. That is a normal reaction.
If you are someone from another blog who admires Lydia for her debate skills or intellect, she’s not quite what she seems. Certainly do not expect her to treat you with kindness, caring, or compassion if you are undergoing some sort of problem and also happen to disagree with her over a political or cultural stance.
Below is a screen capture I made of Lydia’s Tweet to me (and mine to her); her Twitter account was deactivated (I do not know why), so I am unable to link you to these Tweets directly.
You can also see, in the screen capture below, that I asked her a few follow up questions to clarify what she meant to be sure I was not misunderstanding her motive or her point, but she ignored those tweets.
This kind of reaction to someone, after months of harassing them on social media, is not something to be proud of, Lydia.
This is not a great example of being “logical” or “rational.” This is you behaving like the emotionally abusive people in my family. This is you behaving like a jerk. This is not acceptable behavior. This is not okay.
So remember, if you run into Lydia on other sites, on blogs, forums, or on social media (if she rejoins), this is the type of person you are dealing with.
This came after months and months of me being on friendly terms with her (or so I thought), and many occasions of me very politely asking her to please stop hounding me over the Damore memo and the MeToo hash trend.
This is the end result, this is what I got from her:
Thank goodness I finally got this post out of the way. It had been sitting in my Draft area since early 2018.
If I can think of anything else to add, I’ll edit this post to add more.
Related, Off Site:
I think this “SBC Today” site is the one where Lydia spent much of her time, fussing and fighting with Christiane, and getting me to beat up on Christiane as her attack dog or proxy (I do wonder now if I was used by Lydia. It’s not a nice feeling, being used):
A blog for Southern Baptists opposed to five-point Calvinism is shutting down indefinitely.
An Oct. 30 posting on SBC Today, a news and opinion blog promoting what supporters call a “traditional” Southern Baptist view of predestination, announced the online forum is taking a hiatus “for the foreseeable future.”