• Widow Reveals She Was Fat Shamed At Her Husband’s Funeral By Guests Who Said She ‘Should Have Lost Weight’ For the Occasion by L. Hawkin

Widow Reveals She Was Fat Shamed At Her Husband’s Funeral By Guests Who Said She ‘Should Have Lost Weight’ For the Occasion by L. Hawkin

I’ve not even yet read this article, but I can’t help but wonder, why would guests harass this woman over her weight at her husband’s funeral? What difference does it make? Do they think her dead husband is going to suddenly sit upright in the casket and say, “You lost weight; you look great, dear.” That’s not going to happen.

Most people are grief illiterate. They have no idea how to comfort and support someone who is in grief, and in examples like this, you can see they are capable of hurting someone who is already in grief.

Widow Reveals She Was Fat Shamed At Her Husband’s Funeral By Guests Who Said She ‘Should Have Lost Weight’ For the Occasion

June 2019

A WIDOW has revealed she was fat-shamed at her husband’s funeral by cruel guests who said she should have “lost weight” before criticising her outfit choice.

In a personal essay for Love What Matters, the widow recalled how her husband died in a tragic motorcycle accident earlier this year which left him with severe brain injuries.

Devastated by the loss, the woman – known online as Toni Z – says the “silence in my house” was unbearable and comforted herself by looking at old photos of her partner in the days that followed.

When the funeral came around a few weeks later, the widow naturally wore a black dress which is standard protocol for both the family and guests paying their respects.

 She said: “There were many people there. Some I knew well, others I didn’t know at all.”

However as her husband’s coffin was being lowered into the grave, Toni overheard a guest she didn’t know very well make a snide comment.

“They’re putting her husband in the ground. You’d think she would’ve lost a few more pounds and worn a cuter dress,” the widow claims she overhead them say.

Understandably, Toni was affected by the remarks – especially as her husband’s funeral “should have been a safe zone”.

 Although the widow admits that she’s gained over two stone since losing her husband, she said: “Grief hits you in ways you can’t understand unless you’ve experienced it. And I can assure you that the last thing on your radar will be your weight.”

Luckily, Toni’s sister – who also overheard the guest’s fat-shaming comments – turned to her and said: “Okay. New plan. Bury her instead and then we go eat 20 burgers.”


Judgementalism About Grief – Matt Was Her Boyfriend Not Her Husband – Only The Grief of Married Mourners Counts, Apparently

Regarding Grief, Sickness and Depression: Hold Your Tongue and Offer Your Heart Instead by Heather Plett

Grief Support Gone Wrong: When You’re Beyond Second Chances – from WYG site

How Simply Acknowledging Another Person’s Pain Can Help Them More Than Telling Them to Cheer Up by Megan Devine, via Lori Dorn

The Griefbot That Could Change How We Mourn

It’s Not Self Pity When It’s Happening To You – Re: Classifying Other People’s Life’s Pain Derogatorily as “Self Pity”

Nine Ways Therapists Personally Deal With Grief

What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say By Edith Zimmerman


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