• About

Edit, April 2016:

Please scroll down this page to see the ‘MY BELIEFS‘ section, if you are interested in knowing more about my views


Some of you may know me from other blogs and sites.

I did not set out to blog here. I initially created this account so I could comment on other blogs.

However, as I’m not being permitted to give voice to all my views on other blogs all the time, or, not fully (my posting privilege has been limited on a few of these blogs lately, summer 2014), my only outlet to explain myself is on a blog of my own, so here I am.

I do not think I will be blogging here on a regular basis, not at this time. Maybe I’ll change my mind and start writing posts here weekly or monthly.

I am neither fully Christian nor fully agnostic these days.

I don’t know if I still agree with the Christian faith or not.

My understanding of Christianity is still on the conservative, orthodox side of things, e.g., I believe, from the Christian view, that Jesus Christ is God, that the Bible was written by God through men, is meant to be taken literally where it’s literal (I realize the Bible contains allegory and figures of speech), that the Bible is inerrant, that the readings of the Auographa (the original copies) can be reconstructed accurately via lower text criticism, etc.

I remain very conservative when it comes to politics and social topics. (August 2016: I think I’d modify this now to say I’m “moderately” conservative, as opposed to being “very” conservative.)

Because I am conservative, I find myself at odds with a lot of groups or blogs out there that are meant to be welcoming to people such as myself (people who have been wounded by churches and Christians, who are struggling to hold on to the faith). Why?

Because most of the other participants at such sites are usually quite liberal on social morals or politics, or love to assume anyone who is not leftist on social issues is a heartless jerk.

I will be shouted down five- to- one on those blogs and forums.

Wounded Christians who are conservative, Republican, who have traditional values, are generally not welcomed at most of the sites that are intended for, well, wounded Christians or agnostics who were once Christians. Sadly, the folks who run those groups don’t seem to recognize or care that this is the case.


Edit. November 2017.

HOW I CHOOSE TO WRITE ON THIS BLOG – ON SUPPOSEDLY BEING TOO NEGATIVE

I should have known – this comes up on about any forum or blog I’ve ever written to or have guest – blogged at: I receive occasional complaints from readers that I am, in their view, too negative, angry, or bitter.

I am actually not too negative, angry, or bitter.

I come from an emotionally and verbally abusive family which is in fact quite negative and hostile, and such traits turned me off since childhood, so I tend to deliberately avoid being “too negative” or bitter or angry because I don’t want to come off as, or be similar to, those family members of mine.

I am not, however, polly-anna, or naively happy-clappy, upbeat, and obnoxiously cheerful.

I should say both sides annoy me: people who are constantly, incredibly negative and cynical all the time (which would be most of my family, as well as liberal ex-Christians on church abuse sites) bother me, as well as the too-positive, fakey- plastic happy smiley types of people.

I am a realist.

As am realist, I am neither particularly negative or positive. I’m going to point out the bad when I see it but am willing to concede the positive if I see it.

As a realist, I am going to pontificate and analyze problems I see within groups, people, or ideas.

Some of my main topics of concern for posting to this Daisy blog is to discuss issues I raised here, which may include the following:

  • how the Christian church supports sexism by teaching and endorsing sexism against women under what they call “gender complementarianism”
  • how the Christian church and its teachings wound people (especially in the area of false teachings on mental health),
  • how the church ignores, or else mistreats, single adults

The very nature of my focus for this blog is therefore not going to be uplifting and positive – but I am not attempting to be intentionally cynical and negative all the time.

Pointing out flaws in teachings, organizations, or in theology is not necessarily the same thing as being negative for the sake of being negative, but a lot of people mistake it for such.

If that is what you’re looking for, if you’re looking for a “feel-good” blog that motivates you when life has you down and is chock-full of positive, warm and fuzzy anecdotes about life, church, or secular therapy, you are pretty much on the wrong blog.

As I detail in several early blog posts, I was in fact let down and harmed by secular psychology and Christianity, in the realm of mental health (and in other areas).

Ergo, no, you’re not going to see me write posts extolling the wonders and virtues of secular therapy, medications, or Christian teachings on said issues.

Why would you expect to see positive coverage recommending such teachings by me, when they were not personally helpful to me, and some even harmed me?

Despite the fact I have made a point of adding a qualifier to all my posts thus far on the topic of secular therapy that I am not dissuading anyone from seeing a secular therapist or from taking medications, this is not ‘good enough’ for malcontents who visit this blog.

They complain that my posts critical of secular psychology are not ‘nice’ enough.

My blog exists in part to provide critiques of secular psychology, whether based on my own personal experiences with it, or to share links I find to editorials by others that critique secular mental health doctors or treatments.

My blog does not exist to advance secular therapy, only in- so- far as to mention I think that secular therapy is usually more effective than Christian teachings at treating mental health problems.

By the same token, I have been personally harmed in ways, over the course of my life, by Christian teachings or Christian behavior regarding gender (gender complementarianism), marriage, singleness, grieving, and so forth, so it stands to reason that any posts I write on these topics are also not going to be from a perspective that is flattering to Christianity.

My blog exists in part to call out the problems I see with some teachings, behaviors, or groups. This is not a blog where I generally point to what is right, good, and correct with the church, Christian teachings, or secular mental health professions. If that is what you are expecting or looking for, again I say, you are on the wrong blog.

I am not necessarily “anti psychology,” but neither am I going to sit here on this blog and pretend that all of secular psychology is wonderful and without its flaws.

It’s my blog.

It’s my prerogative to post about what I want to post, and it’s up to me to choose how I wish to discuss the topics I discuss.

I am not here to please you, or to cater to how you think I should write about any given topic.

If you find my writing style depressing, too negative, too angry, too mean, or what have you, please just stop reading this blog, and don’t bother commenting to tell me you find the content or writing style too negative.

I am amazed at the nerve and colossal ego of the occasional blog visitors I receive who presume to lecture me in the comments on how they think I ought to go about writing on my own blog.

BANNED

If you leave comments on my blog presuming to lecture me, challenge me, or correct me – especially if done in a condescending manner, or after if I ask you a few times to cool it or tone it down – you’ll find yourself permanently banned. (I’ve already banned about two people who pulled this.)

If you want to disagree with me, depending on how you go about it – minus an attitude,  or minus a condescending, know- it- all tone, for example – I am open to disagreement, to an extent.

I swear there are some arrogant busy-bodies out there who exist online only to visit blogs such as mine, blogs which point out consistent mistakes made by churches and by secular entities, to feel it’s their place to “correct” me (or writers like me), to tell us we’re too negative or not happy-clappy enough.

They are the Self-Appointed Blog Police, and it’s pretty egotistical of them.


MY BELIEFS (AS OF APRIL 2016)

I have always been conservative, both on social and political issues. I remain conservative to this day, though I have become more moderate on some positions in the last two or three years.
But I am not left wing, a progressive, or a liberal.

(Any visitors who are liberal: I do have liberal friends in real life and online, so I do not view liberal, left wing people as enemies; we just happen to disagree on some things, and as far as I am concerned, that’s okay.)

I come from a Christian family. Both of my parents believed in Jesus and traditional gender roles and held traditional values.

I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was a child.

I have voted Republican my entire life, although I have not been completely happy with the Republican Party in the last few years.

(As of 2014 or so, I am no longer Republican, though I am also NOT a Democrat.)

I am pro-life concerning the abortion topic and am firmly- to- moderately- conservative on many other social issues.

  • However, I do not tend to get as “worked up” or passionate over some subjects that other conservatives do, such as homosexual marriage, for example.
  • I do not hate motherhood, men, or marriage.
  • I used to be a Christian gender complementarian.
    In posts on this blog, I wrote of my experiences with complementarianism and briefly explained why I rejected it, so I shall not tread that ground again here.
  • My point is I used to be a complementarian myself, and so I understand complementarianism. I did not reject complementarianism because of liberalism, secular feminism, hatred of the Bible, or due to ignorance of what complementarianism is.
  • I became a Christian when a child but have been in a faith crisis the last few years, which has caused me to question what I believe about the faith, the Bible, and caused me to look again at how other Christians behave and how other Christians choose to interpret the Bible and treat people.
  • I am not an atheist.
  • I’m not sure what label I would apply to myself, because I am in this murky area of being partly Christian but partly not- a- Christian.
  • But I am not an atheist (really, I cannot say this one enough, because a lot of Christians seem to confuse my present belief set with atheism).
  • I am not a Christian-hating, liberal, Democrat-voting, abortion- supporting, hairy, bra-burning feminist. In other words, I am not the stereotype a lot of Christian gender complementarians make women like me (ones who disagree with complementarianism) out to be.

 

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14 thoughts on “• About

  1. Daisy– I just read your wonderful takedown of “R. Lloyd” on Spiritual Sounding Board and it prompted me to say–You Rock.

    I read and occasionally post on SSB and WW coming from the opposite side of the spectrum from you, as a liberal agnostic, because I want to understand what thoughtful believers (or former believers) have to say about their faith. Reading your posts over the last two years has been illuminating for me. You’ve sorted out your thinking in an honest, public way, and taken a lot of criticism for some of your views. But you never just turned tail and ran back into religious conformity or into cynical disbelief. You keep thinking and evaluating.

    I admire your spirit and courage.
    thanks,
    LM

    • Thank you, Lane.

      I don’t know for how long I’ll be in this limbo of ‘I sort of still believe some of the core doctrines of the Christian faith but at the same time am sort of an agnostic, and I doubt other parts of the faith’.

      One advantage of being in this odd position is that the blinders are off, and I think I see things as they really are.

      Also, I don’t feel the pressure to be as super nice to people now in some matters as I did before when I was totally Christian all the way.

      In other words, I didn’t feel the need to hold back with that R Lloyd guy at SSB. I felt much more free to be very blunt with the guy. I likely would never have been that outspoken in my days as a sugary nice Christian.

      I do sometimes duck out of fights on these blogs, like at TWW.

      The folks at TWW actually put me on mute on their blog for about 8 or 9 months in a row, around last summer, if I remember the timing correctly.

      They set my posts up so that they would not automatically appear on their blog unless a moderator allowed them to go through.

      After several months of that, I sent the people of TWW an e-mail behind the scenes basically (and politely) telling them why I felt that was odd and unfair, but I told them I realized it was their blog to rule as they wished, and I said good-bye.

      I was going to stop posting there and maybe even not lurk. But they eventually took me off moderated status (which I think is very nice of them, and I appreciate it), so I began posting again.

      Anyway, I actually prefer to get along with people. I don’t like to fight, so sometimes, I will leave a thread if I feel I’m really losing my temper, or about to.

      There are a few personalities on these blogs that rub me the wrong way, so I try to just scroll over their posts without reading them, or without replying… because if I reply, I figure things will get heated, and I don’t want that.

      I’m trying not to slip into bitterness. I have an older sister who is very bitter – I’ve seen first hand what that can do to a person, so I try not to go that route.

      I am definitely struggling with things, including the Christian faith.

      I’m trying to stay open minded about things, at least on some topics. I’m not really sure what to think.

      I am still pretty conservative in how I view issues (politics, morals, Christianity), but I can see now that the conservatives sometimes get things wrong some of the time.

      I sometimes find myself reading liberal points or criticisms on sites and blogs and thinking, “Okay, this is true, this is a good point they have here.”

      I mean, I doubt I’ll ever become a liberal myself, but I can see that conservatives are in the wrong occasionally.

      I’m glad you enjoyed my posts. I feel I repeat myself a lot on some things, which I hope doesn’t annoy people on other blogs too much. I sometimes think I am annoying people on other blogs, so I will sometimes do more lurking than posting.

      As far as me posting on the same things over and over… Some of the things I discuss over and over are things I’m working out for myself, or topics that bug me, I guess.

      Anyway, thank you so much for your kind words. 🙂
      I’m glad someone gets something out of my posts. I guess I am working through some of my stuff in public on some of these blogs. 🙂

      • Hi Daisy,

        Somehow I missed your reply until today when I was cleaning out emails.

        Thanks for writing back. Blog-response life does seem to have its own set of realities, and I often wonder whether my impressions of people online would hold up in person.

        I think I am more self-protective than you are in comments. I don’t share as much of my doubts and evolutions in thought. But maybe like you, I have had my ideas and assumptions broadened by reading comments from points of view different than mine. And in general, the people I admire most and learn the most from are the ones who are willing to reevaluate their thinking, and share that process.

        I also have people whose posts I skip because their approach just plain bugs me even if I agree with their positions. But not yours,

        all best,
        Lane

    • Hey Carmen!
      I don’t really blog here all too often. Sometimes I forget to log in and check to see if I have any new comments I need to approve.

      I do have one blog post sitting in draft status that needs to be finished. I don’t know if I’ll finish that and post it.

      Anyway. You are welcome to post here whenever.

      I don’t mean to disappoint – I don’t blog here that much, so you may not be seeing posts here too often.

      I’ve had this blog for like two or more years(?) now but have only done like 7 or 8 posts in that time. 🙂

  2. Oh, Daisy – one other thing. You don’t seem to have a ‘Follow’ button, which would ensure that your subscribers would see your posts automatically, when you put one up. You might want to do that in order to increase your readership.

    • @ Carmen.

      Ask and you shall receive! If I fiddled around with the blog settings in the admin section right, there should be two follow buttons / link things on the right hand side of the page, towards the bottom.

  3. Presto! I filled it all out and then got a message saying I was already subscribed so perhaps yours was set to automatically sign people up when they commented. 🙂 All good!

    • Okay.

      By the way, your posts should be showing up automatically on my blog by now, since I already approved two of them to appear …. but you appear to still be on moderated status??

      I had to manually approve this last message of yours to appear. The blog should not be doing that.

      I’ll go back into the admin section to take a look at the settings again to see if something needs to be fixed.

      Anyway. Thank you for being a subscriber. Please don’t be disappointed if you don’t see another post here over the next five years or something. LOL.

      I do have one or two post ideas in mind, but I don’t know if/when I’ll get around to writing or posting them.

  4. Oh Daisy.

    I love reading what you write.

    You are honest and direct.

    I would not want to cross your path haha

    And most of all… I just want to be your friend.

    And I’m glad you’re not hairy.

    • Thank you Salty.

      Considering your “Salty” screen name, I wonder if you’d ever consider using a photo of the “Mr. Peanut” mascot for your avatar? That would be funny. 🙂

      I do shave regularly, so no, I’m not hairy. 🙂

      I should probably blog here more often than I do.

      Thanks for dropping in!

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