• Expressing Anger is Healthy. Here’s How Parents Can Encourage Their Girls to Get Angry and Show It by K. Rope

Expressing Anger is Healthy. Here’s How Parents Can Encourage Their Girls to Get Angry and Show It by K. Rope

As I’ve noted before, Christian Gender Complementarianism is nothing but Codependency for Girls and women.

My mother was a Christian who believed in traditional gender roles as taught by the Baptist church, and she was definitely codependent – in part because of those sexist Christian complementarian teachings, but also due to having been raised in an alcoholic family where she took on codependent behaviors to try to protect herself.

One aspect of complementarianism – of codependency – is to socialize girls and women to suppress their anger.

Secular culture also plays at that game as well, but churches lay it on even more strongly, and tell girls and women it’s “God’s design” for girls and women to always be sweet, agreeable and smiley, to lack boundaries – so, if you are female, you’re never supposed to show anger.

Since I’ve abandoned complementarianism and codependency, I’ve had to learn how to show anger, and I’ve had to realize it’s okay to show anger – this comes after years and years, up to my early 40s!, of repressing anger.

One thing that continual repression of anger (and boundaries) can do in a person is lead to, or intensify, depression and anxiety.  God did not design girls and women to be perpetual, loving, sweet, little cupcakes who never express their anger, no matter what.

My mother definitely taught me from youth to place a premium in how others perceived me, that I care more about what others thought about me than what I thought about myself, and that I come across as “likable” and “sweet” to everyone all the time – that was a huge, huge parenting Fail on her part.

Expressing Anger is Healthy. Here’s How Parents Can Encourage Their Girls to Get Angry and Show It 

Snippets:

In telling girls to be nice and stifle anger, we neglect to teach them they have a right to be respected

by K. Rope

….The other book, “Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger” by Soraya Chemaly, looks at the extensive research on our gendered relationship with anger.

There is little difference in how boys and girls experience and express emotions, says Chemaly, but there is substantial difference in how we respond. Girls are rewarded for being pleasant, agreeable and helpful.

By preschool, children believe it is normal for boys to be angry, but not girls.

“We are so busy teaching girls to be likable that we forget to teach them that they have the right to be respected,” Chemaly told me. And the effects of that carry into adulthood.

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• Why Smart People Are Vulnerable to Putting Tribe Before Truth by D. Kahan

Why Smart People Are Vulnerable to Putting Tribe Before Truth by D. Kahan

Why Smart People Are Vulnerable to Putting Tribe Before Truth by D. Kahan

Snippets:

Science literacy is important, but without the parallel trait of “sciencecuriosity,” it can lead us astray

by D. Kahan
December 2018

What intellectual capacities—or if one prefers, cognitive virtues—should the citizens of a modern democratic society possess? For decades, one dominant answer has been the knowledge and reasoning abilities associated with science literacy.

Scientific evidence is indispensable for effective policymaking. And for a self-governing society to reap the benefits of policy-relevant science, its citizens must be able to recognize the best available evidence and its implications for collective action.

This account definitely isn’t wrong. But the emerging science of science communication, which uses scientific methods to understand how people come to know what’s known by science, suggests that it is incomplete.

Indeed, it’s dangerously incomplete. Unless accompanied by another science-reasoning trait, the capacities associated with science literacy can actually impede public recognition of the best available evidence and deepen pernicious forms of cultural polarization.

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• An Ex-Christian Explains The Surprising Benefits of Being a Former Evangelical by V. Tarico

An Ex-Christian Explains The Surprising Benefits of Being a Former Evangelical by V. Tarico

Ironically, the atheist person who wrote this, Valerie Tarico, has an attitude of certitude, as she claims people of faith have.

Despite Tarico’s concessions and qualifier on the topic of science, I think she’s putting a little too much faith in it.

By the way: just because something is really old doesn’t mean it’s necessarily wrong. The author, as many atheists do, often slam the Bible on the basis that it’s really old, and they love to use disparaging terms to do so, such as saying it’s a musty old book from the Bronze age, written by goat herders – so all of us should just ignore it.

I’m too lazy to google for it, but I bet that’s a logical fallacy: it’s sort of the opposite of the appeal to tradition.

Is there a logical fallacy called “The appeal to new stuff,” which implies only ideas created in the last ten years are any good?

Because she’s guilty of that one, or else I bet she’s selective in its application: old scientific ideas would probably get the green light from her, but not any really old texts claiming to have been written, or given to humanity, by a deity.

Now, I’m not saying that Christians today don’t misuse the Bible, because they sure do. It would behoove Christians to remember that not all of the Bible was meant for all of us today – some of its content was context-, time-, or place- specific. I do sometimes see Christians trying to apply practices that are 2,000 or more years old on to contemporary cultures, and even the Bible is not supporting that.

Today, in 2018 America, we’re not “biblically expected,” for example, to “greet one another with a holy kiss,” to refrain from wearing gold rings, or to avoid eating pork.

An ex-Christian explains the surprising benefits of being a former evangelical

by V. Tarico

People who leave Evangelical Christianity often carry scars, either from their time in the walled community of believers or from their struggle to break free. Getting God’s self-appointed messengers out of your head can be the work of a lifetime, as Recovering from Religion hotline volunteers and therapists can attest; and religious communities can be cruel and unforgiving toward defectors, even when these defectors were once beloved.

I’ve written about this with Dr. Marlene Winell, who has a full-time counseling practice with clients who are working to release toxic religious teachings and so reclaim their own thoughts, values and chosen purpose in life.

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• Global Suicide Rate Has Declined, but Suicide Rates Have Increased in American Rural Areas (2018)

Global Suicide Rate Has Declined, but Suicide Rates Have Increased in American Rural Areas

Suicide hits rural America the hardest

December 2018

Suicide rates have been steadily rising over the past several years throughout the U.S., but the trend has hit rural areas the hardest, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

…Between the lines: There’s no one explanation for the trend.

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• When Being Nice Backfires by N. Lipkin

I would say that the following is especially true of women. Women are conditioned when children, more so than men are, to be nice – to lack boundaries, and to be passive, rather than be assertive.

Christian churches who support Gender Complementarianism further pressure girls and women to engage in this highly codependent behavior, which they deem “biblical” and “nice.”

I was bullied over the course of my life, as a child by other children at school, and as an adult by other adults at various jobs I had. One supervisor I had in my early 30s was particularly bullying, and I think my “niceness” (severe codependency) made me an attractive and easy target for that boss, and for co-workers who used me.

When Being Nice Backfires by N Lipkin

We’re taught from a young age to “play nice” if we don’t want to find ourselves in trouble. Being “nice” is a huge part of our upbringing and vocabulary. As we grow older, these early messages can turn into unconscious scripts that impact our personal and professional lives.

The early childhood message to “play nice” is especially apparent in our relationships with others. It is often louder than the call for us to be assertive, set healthy boundaries, or even prioritize our own needs over the needs of others.

But how nice should a leader be? If you’re too nice you risk being a pushover; you might keep an employee beyond their expiration date; you might see deadlines come and go; you might become too close with your employees at the expense of being able to give them tough feedback.

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• Four Ways To Beat Anxiety by A. Downey

Four Ways To Beat Anxiety by A. Downey

Four Ways To Beat Anxiety by A. Downey

Snippets:

ANYONE who suffers from anxiety will tell you it is crippling and can take over your life.

…Anxiety disorders can develop as a result of a number of factors, including stress, genetics and childhood environment.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to manage the condition and even beat it for good, Olivia Remes, a PhD candidate at the University of Cambridge, writes for The Conversation.

“It can appear out of the blue as a panic attack, when sudden spikes of anxiety make you feel like you’re about to have a heart attack, go mad or lose control,” she said.

 “Or it can be present all the time, as in generalised anxiety disorder, when diffuse and pervasive worry consumes you and you look to the future with dread.

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• Social Media Use Increases Depression and Loneliness, Study Finds

Social Media Use Increases Depression and Loneliness, Study Finds

Does Social Media Cause Depression? A New Study Suggests It Might Make Symptoms Worse

Cutting down social media use can reduce depression, loneliness

Study Links Social Media to Depression, Loneliness

University of Pennsylvania researchers say that for the first time they have linked social media use to increases in depression and loneliness.

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