The Sexist Roots of Codependency – The mindset that makes many women stay in toxic relationships by Melissa Petro
I’ve writen posts on this blog previously explaining that Christian gender complementarianism is Codependency for women – it encourages women to exhibit and practice behaviors that make them more vulnerable to being targeted by abusers, con artists, manipulators, and the selfish.
Codependency can also leave a woman trapped in an abusive relationship much longer than normally, whether that is a romantic relationship, a family one, a friendship one, or a workplace one.
I was shouted down any time I mentioned any of that here or on other sites, though, by people who run domestic violence blogs who argue the concept of Codependency is supposedly victim-blaming, and I’ve explained time and again, that no, it is not victim-blaming.
Notice that there is an overlap between the sexist gendered stereotypes women receive (to be caring, nurturing, passive, to endure abuse, etc) from secular society, and what the church tells women is “godly” behavior that they are expected to possess and demonstrate under complementarianism (eg., to be caring, nurturing, passive, to endure abuse, etc).
I have further commentary to make below this long excerpt:
[The author opens by describing a relationship where she had a drug addicted boyfriend named Mark, who she ended up acting as a care-taker for (she both financially and emotionally supported him), and he exploited that; she eventually broke up with him]
….Like many women, I was raised to believe that a woman’s role was to take care of the home and support her partner unconditionally.
In exchange, I was taught, men were the breadwinners and protectors. Women put their romantic partners and their families before themselves; men called the shots.