• Why Keeping a Diary Helps You Move On And Even Improves Your Heart Health – Daily Mail

This article focuses on divorce, but I think its advice is applicable to other life problems.

I discussed healing and moving past painful ordeals in a previous post or two. I had depression for many years, and after my mother died a few years ago, I had to find healthy ways to cope with the grief.

One method I used was writing. I used to write by pen in an old notebook. These days, I might blog about something, or write posts on someone else’s blog. I’ve found writing does help.

Why Keeping a Diary Helps You Move On And Even Improves Your Heart Health – Daily Mail by Alexandra Thompson

Here are some snippets from that page:

Struggling to cope with a divorce? Keeping a diary helps you move on and even improves your heart health

  • Expressing feelings by telling a story of your relationship has notable benefits
  • Writing lowers the heart’s rate and increases its beat variability, boosting health
  • Telling a story has advantages over expressing feelings or recording activities

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• Topics and Concerns Under-Reported by Christians or Abuse and Survivor Sites

Depending on my level of interest and schedule, I may, in the future, write separate blog posts discussing some of the topics I am listing below.

Some of the survivor or abuse recovery sites, forums, groups, and blogs I visit (whether ones owned by conservative Christians, liberal Christians, or ex Christians) do a wonderful job of exposing the problems of things such as authoritarianism and child-abuse (and wife-abuse) cover-ups by churches.

Those are certainly important topics that are deserving of coverage.

Some abuse or survivor blogs will cover some of the issues I have mentioned below, but only by way a “token” post or two.

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• Not Exactly Always Hospitable for Non-Liberals: Ex or Liberal Christian Sites and Spiritual or Abuse Survivor Blogs & the Christian Trump-Bashing Infatuation

Not Exactly Always Hospitable for Non-Liberals: Ex or Liberal Christian Sites and Spiritual or Abuse Survivor Blogs & the Christian Trump-Bashing Infatuation 

I’ve been center of right, politically, since I was a kid.

I don’t know where I currently stand in regards to the Christian faith.

However, I still adhere to traditional values, which are pretty much in line with a conservative Christian understanding of the Bible.

Though I find myself somewhat more and more of a libertarian in outlook as I grow older, meaning, hey, I don’t agree with your lifestyle choices, but if you’re an adult, and it’s not hurting me or John Doe, I don’t really care what you do in your personal life.

I did not vote for anyone in the 2016 U.S. Presidential elections because I disliked all candidates.

However, I don’t care who YOU voted for, or if, like me, you sat that one out and did not cast a ballot at all.

I understand my Democrat friends who voted for Hillary and why. I understand my Democrat friends who hated Hillary so they were vying for Sanders.

I understand my Republican and conservative friends who loved Trump, or the ones who dislike Trump but hated Hillary more, so they went with Trump.

I also understand the folks who didn’t like either Trump or Hillary, so they went with a third party guy.

I am okay with any all all those above scenarios. I don’t get angry, offended, and upset by people, whether Christian or not, if they voted for Hillary, Trump, a third party candidate, or if they wrote “Mickey Mouse” on their ballot.

A lot of people had good reasons for why they voted as they did. Nobody, or I would suspect, hardly anyone, is a monster, rube, sexist, racist, or idiot just because they voted for one candidate or another, or did not vote at all.

It was a difficult election for just about every one, regardless of political stance.

That should give you an idea of where I am coming from.

EX CHRISTIAN, LIBERAL CHRISTIAN, OR SPIRITUAL ABUSE TWITTER ACCOUNTS OR BLOGS

In the last 3 to 4 years, I have participated on spiritual abuse blogs, and have lurked at Christian gender egalitarian forums, blogs, groups, and I have followed Christian gender egalitarians (or mutualists) on social media.

Can I just say as someone who is right of center, who holds to traditional values, I sometimes find such persons, groups, blogs, or Twitter accounts a little oppressive, myopic, or unfair?

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• Codependency Is Real And It Can Leave Women Vulnerable to Being Abused or Taken Advantage Of

Extreme Caution Urged Concerning Domestic Violence Sites that Discount the Role of Codependency in Abuse of Women – Some Abuse Victims are Indeed Codependent

Codependency is Not Victim Blaming and Can and Does Play a Role in Female Marriage (or Dating Violence) or Female Exploitation

(I began composing this post in the summer of 2016 but will publish it in the fall of 2016.)

Summary: 

The topic of Codependency, (which encompasses, but is not limited to, concepts such as assertiveness and boundaries), is NOT a “victim-blaming” one and has a place in helping girls and women make healthier choices for themselves and what they will and will not tolerate in relationships.

A brief critique of the page “Abuse Victims Are Not Codependent, They’re Trauma-Bonded” by S. Arabi – hosted on the Huffington Post – is now located on this other page of my blog.


I touched on this very issue in a previous post here, about half way down the page, under the section entitled “Codependency and Relationship Abuse.”

I am truly alarmed to see the number of sites, some Christian – some not, that wish to deny or discount that codependency can and does play a role in violence towards women, or the exploitation of girls and women, in romantic relationships or other areas of life.

Denying that codependent women can attract abusers or be in abusive relationships, or that being codependent can protract an abusive or exploitative relationship, is doing a very dangerous and huge dis-service to girls and women.

Before I return to that topic in depth, I’d like to fill readers in on some of my  personal background, because I believe it will help you understand where I am coming from.

Using myself as an example will also help you to realize that saying that codependency can play a role in why some women are abused, or why so many remain in exploitative relationships (including toxic friendships or toxic work-place environments), is not (NOT NOT NOT!) a form of “victim-blaming”.

You can also trust me on that because I detest victim-blaming. I have been on the receiving end of victim-blaming by various people over my life, and I know it’s not pleasant, compassionate, or fair.

I myself am a codependent who is in recovery.

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• A Response to the Complementarian ‘The Beauty of Womanhood Essay’ by Abagail Dodds

This essay by Mrs. Dodds is available from the John Piper “Desiring God” site, as well as an excerpt from Mrs. Dodd’s own blog:

The Beauty of Womanhood Her Uniqueness Makes Her Essential – Desiring God

The Prism of Womanhood – Hope and Stay (Dodds’ blog)

Because many Christian gender complementarians harbor false ideas about women who reject complementarianism, and adhere to false notions of what gender egalitarianism is, I wanted to clear up a few things about myself from the start.

You can see the longer version of my beliefs on my blog’s About Page. This is a shortened list:

  • I have always been conservative, both on social and political issues.
  • I do not hate motherhood, men, or marriage.
  • I used to be a Christian gender complementarian.
    … I understand complementarianism. I did not reject complementarianism because of liberalism, secular feminism, hatred of the Bible, or due to ignorance of what complementarianism is.
  • I am not a Christian-hating, abortion- supporting, hairy, bra-burning feminist, liberal, or Democrat (nor am I an atheist).
    In other words, I am not the stereotype a lot of Christian gender complementarians make women like me (ones who disagree with complementarianism) out to be.

I find most of Dodds’ piece to be disingenuous. She applies the word “complementarian” to some terms or concepts that are actually egalitarian in nature. On some points (not all), she is trying to sell a watered-down version of gender egalitarianism under the label “complementarian,” which is not honest nor accurate.

Maybe Dodds is not even aware that she is doing this: I find that a lot of complementarians, in their blog posts and discussions in comment boxes on blogs and forums, like and agree with egalitarianism, they apply egalitarian practices to their own lives or marriages (if married) in many aspects, but then they slap the label “complementarian” on these egalitarian beliefs.

Another inaccurate or deceptive tactic Dodds uses is to sprinkle the word “single” (as in unmarried) through-out her essay, while all the time, for the vast majority of the essay, defining her version of “biblical womanhood” or “femininity” to only be able to be practiced within the contexts of ‘stay at home motherhood.’

In other words, Dodds’ understanding of God- approved femaleness can really only be fully realized within the confines of married motherhood, yet she continually tosses out the word “single” in her essay, as if to say her views about femaleness are applicable to single adult women as well as to married women or to mothers. Dodds’ treatment or negligence of adult singles is a topic I will  return to later in this post.

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• Ken Ham Unequivocally States on TV Program that a Belief in YEC is NOT Necessary to Be a Christian

On an episode of the Christian program It is Written,  broadcast on August 31, 2014 on American TBN network,  YEC (Young Earth Creationist) Ken Ham was asked by the host in an interview if belief in YEC is necessary to be a Christian, and he said NO.

Ham clearly stated that belief in YEC is NOT necessary to be Christian, to be saved. He said he knows many Christians believe in things such as theistic evolution, and he believes that they are saved.

Ham said his concern with the current generation of Christians rejecting YEC views is that it may cause future generations to doubt the Bible.

From the It is Written site (link to home page),

Creation or Evolution?
Many people today believe that overwhelming evidence supports the theory of evolution. They accept that their ancestors looked like apes. Can Bible believers confidently believe in the Creation story? Join John Bradshaw as he visits with Ken Ham, president of the Creation Museum.

You might be able to watch the Ken Ham interview at the link below (I saw the interview on television; it was televised Aug 31, 2014. I have not had time to watch this particular online video but assume it is the same interview that was aired on the show, but I may be incorrect):

Link, Creation video / Ken Ham Interview

Creation or Evolution? / 2014-08-31 | PRODUCTION #: 001327

Many people today believe that overwhelming evidence supports the theory of evolution. They accept that their ancestors looked like apes. Can Bible believers confidently believe in the Creation story? Join John Bradshaw as he visits with Ken Ham, president of the Creation Museum.

“It Is Written” television program has a You Tube account (link, It is Written on You Tube). As of today, I do not see a copy of the Aug. 31, 2014 Ken Ham episode on You Tube.

A PDF form of the show is available here (it is a transcript of the Ham interview):

Link, PDF transcript of Aug 31, 2014 Creation/Ham show

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