• Christian School Complains Eight-Year-Old Girl Isn’t Girly Enough – They Shame, Reject Christian Tom Boys

Christian School Complains Eight-Year-Old Girl Isn’t Girly Enough – They Shame, Reject Christian Tom Boys

(The links to the 2014 news stories about the Christian school that sent a letter reprimanding a Christian tom boy for her tom boyishness are farther below.)

I saw this, or was reminded of this news story, via Ashley Easter’s Twitter (link) and it reminds me of a post I did on my own blog a few months ago, “Gender Complementarianism Contributes to Gender Confusion“.

The little girl in the news stories linked to below reminds me of me when I was her age. I was also a tom boy and I preferred short hair to wearing it long.

The Bible is not intended to be a rule book for what constitutes girlhood or boyhood – and any time it appears to address those issues, it was bound up in the cultures of the era – and the qualities the Bible asks Christian women to have men are not exempt from having.

It’s absolutely a mistake for Christians in the year 2019 to teach things such as women today should not braid their hair or wear gold jewelry, when such instructions were a.) culturally bound and b.) more about underlying attitudes that drove the behaviors than the behaviors themselves.

Above: Audrey Hepburn had short hair – nobody these days has a problem with this or thinks it’s unfeminine

When I was a girl I did not like playing with Barbie dolls, wearing frilly dresses, or the color pink.

When I was a girl, I preferred wearing cut off jean shorts with sneakers, and watching Adam West as Bat Man, and I enjoyed reading my big brother’s MARVEL comic books, climbing trees, and watching the Planet of the Apes weekly television show. The Bible has nothing to say about any of that.

This Christian school, though, would insist that me enjoying cut-off jean shorts or watching Bat Man was not adhering to “biblical gender norms,” and they might even make the admission that it was not in line with “traditional gender norms” (they actually used that phrase in one of the articles below).

As to the second phrase (“traditional gender norms”), I may agree – but then, they would be admitting that their idea of how a girl should dress, wear her hair, or what entertainment she should consume are driven by the secular culture, not by the Bible.

Teaching girls that they are not meeting some Christian’s arbitrary standard of “girliness,” or not meeting some Christian group’s personal interpretation of what they may assume the Bible teaches about girl-i-ness (and I honestly do not recall the Bible instructing little girls specific behaviors or hobbies or fashions to pursue to meet God’s standard of girl-i-ness), creates shame in girls.

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• Grief Support Gone Wrong: When You’re Beyond Second Chances – from WYG site

Grief Support Gone Wrong: When You’re Beyond Second Chances – from WYG site

The one thing more difficult than losing my mother was the lack of emotional support I received after she died – that plus the insensitive comments and platitudes I got from other people.

I’ve been thinking of writing about my experiences with how horribly extended family, immediate family, online friends, real life friends, and church people hurt me or totally let me down in my time of grief, for this blog.

In the meantime, there is this page, linked to below, from WYG (“What’s Your Grief”) which outlines many of the ways you will be mistreated during your time of grief: you’ll either be ignored, wounded, insulted, or offended by the people in your life who should be emotionally supporting you (and perhaps offering practical help to you) during your time of grief.

I completely related to several items on this page.

I’m only going to place a portion of the WYG article on this page; if you’d like to read the entire thing, please use this link:

Grief Support Gone Wrong: When You’re Beyond Second Chances

Nothing puts a person’s support system to the test quite like a crisis. When the clouds of hardship dull the glare of more happy and carefree times, a person often sees their support system accurately for the very first time.

For some people, this is a reassuring experience, as they find their support system is similar to what they had assumed it would be. For others, it’s a bit, shall we say, disconcerting.

Many grieving people find that changes and disappointments within their support system become a secondary loss. They had assumed a certain type of support would be given and they feel hurt and angry when it isn’t.

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• Gender Complementarian Vs Gender Egalitarian Song Lists

Gender Complementarian Vs Gender Egalitarian Song Lists

This first song is how gender complementarians envision marriage and relationships between men and women.
It’s unbiblical, insulting, and why even so many Christian marriages with “traditional values” fail and end up in divorce.

1. Put Another Log on the Fire by Tompall Glaser

2. Strut by Sheena Easton

Complementarians often teach pure male entitlement (and lie and say it’s “God’s design”) – they also have a lot of false ideas about women’s sexuality.

Namely,  complementarians assume that only men want sex, and women don’t want it, don’t like it, and don’t need it. (Think of, for instance, complementarian morons such as “preachers” Mark Driscoll and Doug Wilson.)

Complementarian pastors, who are male (of course), therefore never (that I’ve heard) address the topic of husbands sexually pleasing their wives. Pastors never address what women want and prefer in sex.

Complementarians value women only as brood mares: for wifey-hood (i.e., doing housework), sex, and having and rearing children.

Also, hypocritically, a lot of Christian men use pornography, including pastors, and some of them commit fornication (see again: Mark Driscoll for one), some of them are molesting teen-aged girls who attend their churches (see: Andy Savage), but every Sunday, they are paying lip service to being chaste or staying a virgin until marriage.

Anyway, the assumption with these sexist ass-hats (complementarians) is that a man’s sexual needs and preferences are paramount, so they coach wives in their sexist, stupid books, sermons, and blog posts, that the wife should always have sex whenever and however the husband wants.
Which results in this song:

Read the lyrics to the Strut song here or here.

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• Conservatives Still Misunderstanding and Misrepresenting the Concepts / Terms Toxic Masculinity and Traditional Masculinity – The Christian Post Editorial by M. Brown

 Conservatives Still Misunderstanding and Misrepresenting the Concepts / Terms Toxic Masculinity and Traditional Masculinity – The Christian Post Editorial by M. Brown

A very brief reminder of who I am or what I believe:
I used to be a Christian gender complementarian, but I left complementarianism years ago, and I now question (but did not reject altogether) the Christian faith.
I do not identify as a feminist for reasons I explain here.
I remain a conservative but left the Republican Party approximately three years ago.
(In other words, I am not a liberal, I not a feminist, and I am not an atheist.)

In the past few weeks, debates and conversations about the concepts and phrases of “Traditional Masculinity” and “Toxic Masculinity” broke out once again thanks to the APA and a television commercial by razor company Gillette.

A few days ago, I was skimming the headlines at The Christian Post site and stopped to read this, by a Michael Brown:

Is it harder to be a man or woman in America today?

In that editorial, the author, Brown, discusses Traditional Masculinity and Toxic Masculinity (in this post of mine, I will pretty much use both phrases interchangeably).

In that editorial, Brown linked to a Tweet he made, in which he inserted a Twitter poll, asking ‘who has things worse, men or women.’

After I finished reading Brown’s editorial on The Christian Post site, it was evident to me he has a flawed understanding of what the term “Toxic Masculinity” means, so I tweeted at him to say as much, and I was very polite through the entire exchange.

I did not use profanity, lose my temper, engage in name-calling or personal attack (ad hominem) when tweeting to Brown.

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• Christian Tells SC Lawmakers Not to Hang “Evil” Photo of Female Legislators

Christian Tells SC Lawmakers Not to Hang “Evil” Photo of Female Legislators 

I’m surprised that this news story didn’t make more inroads on Twitter or on some of the abuse survivor blogs that sometime cover sexism against women by men in the church.

Even when I was a very devout Christian, I never wanted to live under a Christian theocracy in America (as some Christians fantasize about having) precisely because of kooks like the one mentioned below.

Even when I used to be a Christian gender complementarian, I did not agree that the Bible limits women as severely as some male complementarians teach.

When I was a complementarian, I saw nothing in the Bible  that taught that women were less intelligent than men, that women were more naive, more easily deceived than men, or said anything that prohibited women from holding public office or taking on other roles for all time (many of the Bible’s apparent prohibitions on female behavior in the church, and so on, were cultural and not intended to be timeless). But complementarian interpretations, as taught to me by complementarian pastors and web pages, told me, or gave me the impression, that God felt that women were lesser than men.

Speaker at Hearing Who Says Women Not Fit for Office Stopped

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — A panel of lawmakers stopped an activist from speaking at a public hearing after he spent three minutes saying women are not fit to run for office and called feminism “destructive and evil.”

Christian Tells SC Lawmakers Not to Hang “Evil” Photo of Female Legislators


by Hemant Mehta

[Women members of South Carolina’s legislature wanted to put up portraits of women members on State House grounds to inspire other women to enter politics]

…Columbia Christians for Life director Steve Lefemine argued that women are unfit for public office because something something the Bible. Even South Carolina legislators thought he went too far in pushing his faith and ranting against “destructive and evil” feminism.

Just as Lefemine began to explain Tuesday why the “Biblical doctrine of the headship of man disqualifies a woman from civil office,” state Rep. Russell Ott interrupted.

The Calhoun Democrat said he also is a Christian but has found nothing in the Bible that “backs up anything that you are saying.”

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• A Blue Pigment Suggests that Women of That Time Were More Involved Than Thought in Producing Religious Texts

A Blue Pigment Suggests that Women of That Time Were More Involved Than Thought in Producing Religious  Texts

A Woman’s Work Was Sometimes Blue by Steph Yin


A rare blue pigment, discovered on the teeth of a Medieval nun, suggests that women of that time were more involved than thought in producing religious texts.

[Photo caption below photo of teeth]
Blue flecks of lapis lazuli in the fossilized plaque of a 10th-century nun. Researchers believe they suggest the woman likely was an accomplished painter and manuscript illuminator, and used her teeth to shape her paintbrush.

…But several years ago, when studying the dental plaque of a nun from medieval Germany, Dr. Radini [Anita Radini, an archaeologist at the University of York, in England, who studies ancient tartar (dental plaque) on teeth] saw something entirely new: particles of a brilliant blue.

She showed the findings to Christina Warinner, another tartar expert, who was shocked.

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• Preacher Murdered His Wife Because Divorce Was Considered Unacceptable In His Denomination – What Does This Say About Legalistic Christian Teachings On Divorce?

 Preacher Murdered His Wife Because Divorce Was Considered Unacceptable In His Denomination – What Does This Say About Legalistic Christian Teachings On Divorce?

I watched a televised program about a preacher who hired two hit men to kill his wife of 20+ years, and one comment on this program that stood out to me was one that went something like this:
“He had his wife murdered because divorce was not acceptable in his denomination.”

This murder happened in the late 1980s.

The police detectives started suspecting the Church of Christ pastor, Charles Sennett (Senior), was behind the murder, one reason being, they discovered he was having an affair – and I believe he was having an affair with one of the women in his congregation (how much of this was 100% affair vs. a case of Clergy Sex Abuse I do not know, because the show did not go into great detail about this relationship).

As it turns out, the preacher lied to his mistress, Doris Tidwell.

Sennett lied and told Tidwell that he needed her to give him $3,000 for a legitimate reason (I think he may have told her he wanted to repay a loan) – but in reality, the preacher had to pay two hit men a few thousand to have them bump off his wife, who was about 45 years old at the time.

The mistress gave him the money – which he used to pay for the murder.

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