• An Intolerance of Uncertainty is Linked to Anxiety and Depression. Here’s How to Get Better at Tolerating It by K. Wong

An Intolerance of Uncertainty is Linked to Anxiety and Depression. Here’s How to Get Better at Tolerating It by K. Wong

I find some of what follows applicable to religious thought not just to mental health (anxiety, depression).

Many Christians, those of other faiths, and even many atheists, act completely certain about topics such as religion, salvation, the after-life, or if a deity (or deities) exist.

This following page reminds me a little bit of Pete Enns’ work on the topic of certainty in Christianity:

The Sin of Certainty by Pete Enns

“The controversial evangelical Bible scholar and author of The Bible Tells Me So explains how Christians mistake “certainty” and “correct belief” for faith when what God really desires is trust and intimacy.”

I’ve become more comfortable with uncertainty over the last few years and find myself rather put-off by people who claim to understand everything perfectly, who act as though they understand why everything happens, to claim to know definitely that a God does not exist, and so forth.

Being at that level of certainty can make a person arrogant or closed-off to considering other views, or to considering that maybe their opinions or understanding of some topic or another may be incorrect.

An Intolerance of Uncertainty is Linked to Anxiety and Depression. Here’s How to Get Better at Tolerating It

Excerpts:

If you’ve ever taken a philosophy class, you’ve probably heard of the Socratic paradox: “The only thing I know is that I know nothing.”

It advocates for the benefits of uncertainty, a point of view that happens to be backed by modern psychological science, too. Namely, uncertainty “improves our decisions, promotes empathy, and boosts creativity,” says Jamie Holmes, a Future Tense Fellow at New America and author of the book, Nonsense: The Power of Not Knowing.

Likewise, a 2014 study suggests that uncertainty can also be motivating. A little uncertainty is good for you.

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• The Insidious Effects of Verbal Abuse in the Workplace by C. Romm

The Insidious Effects of Verbal Abuse in the Workplace by C. Romm

….The physical and emotional effects of verbal and emotional abuse at work — whether it comes from a boss or a colleague — can linger for a long time. The Cut talked to experts on workplace abuse about how to recognize it, the toll it takes on workers, and why it so often flies under the radar.

It’s not always so easily identified.
Explosive outbursts are pretty obviously problematic, but abuse in the office often takes a sneakier form, explains Loraleigh Keashly, a professor of communication at Wayne State University who studies conflict resolution.

In a 1996 study titled “Emotional Abuse in the Workplace,” Keashly and her colleagues defined it as “hostile verbal and nonverbal behaviors that are not explicitly tied to sexual or racial content yet are directed at gaining compliance from others” — a definition that included yelling and screaming, but also things name-calling, gossip, interrupting, ignoring someone, and withholding information.

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• The Problem with ‘Facts Not Feelings’ by J. R. Wood Jr.

he Problem with ‘Facts Not Feelings’ by J. R. Wood Jr.

The Problem with ‘Facts Not Feelings’ by J. R. Wood Jr.

Snippets:

…Shapiro is famous, in part, for touring college campuses and ‘destroying’ idealistic and emotional young progressives with the aphorism “Facts don’t care about your feelings.”

However, there is an argument to be made on behalf of empathy in our discourse that is being heedlessly trampled by Shapiro’s defiant mode of aggressive argumentation.

The narrow emphasis on ‘facts not feelings’ reflects a widespread misunderstanding of the role evidence plays in the apprehension of truth, which thwarts our ability to properly pursue empirical and ethical truth in the first place.

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• How Simply Acknowledging Another Person’s Pain Can Help Them More Than Telling Them to Cheer Up by Megan Devine, via Lori Dorn

How Simply Acknowledging Another Person’s Pain Can Help Them More Than Telling Them to Cheer Up by Megan Devine, via Lori Dorn

“How Simply Acknowledging Another Person’s Pain Can Help Them More Than Telling Them to Cheer Up”

Well, no kidding!

I’ve been saying this very thing forever at the Christian blogs I’ve been posting to for eons now.

Most Christians I went to for empathy after my mother died victim-blamed me, shamed me, offered unwanted and unsolicited advice, and tried to give me theology lessons.

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• Conquering Shame and Codependency – book by Darlene Lancer

Conquering Shame and Codependency – book by Darlene Lancer

I’ve only read excerpts from the book Conquering Shame and Codependency by Darlene Lancer, but it looks to be an interesting and maybe helpful read.

I come from a family that was heavily shame-based. My father in particular was very much into shaming my mother, siblings, and myself.

And I come from a devout Christian family – being devout Christians who regularly attended church – did nothing to halt that shaming, the hyper-criticism, the negativity.

The following material also touches on other subject matter in the midst of discussing shame and codependency, such as domestic violence and introversion.

Here are links about the book by Lancer, or links to interviews with Lancer:

Darlene Lancer’s site (with a lot of material about codependency)

Podcast: Darlene Lancer Talks Autonomy and Codependency on Mental Health News Radio

In new book, expert on codependency traces its roots in shame

Podcasts of Interviews with Lancer on Sound Cloud

Lancer Sound Cloud Podcasts

Topics on that page:

Symptoms of Codependency – Coping with Emptiness

Overcoming Codependent Guilt

Interview about Shame and Codependency

Toxic Shame | Guest Author Darlene Lancer

Snippets:

Martha Rosenberg: What are some of the ways children experience and incorporate shame during their childhoods?

Darlene Lancer:  Parents can shame their children’s needs, feelings and even interests. For example, if a child is told not to cry and “you’re a big boy now,” his need for comfort when he is in distress will be shamed.

A PBS program showed how different mothers of distressed 2-year-olds reacted. Some did not hold or even look at their children, probably because they were not comforted themselves as children.

If a child displays an interest in sports or culture or music and the parents do not approve of it, his interests can be shamed.

… Martha Rosenberg: You have also said that codependency is a progressive disease like alcoholism that leads to physical symptoms including chronic pain and final feelings of being “dead” inside. Can you describe some of your clients’ recoveries from shame and codependency?

Darlene Lancer: One of my clients was married to someone who was very verbally abusive to her. He was clever, manipulative and kept her in a “one down” position.

She tolerated the abuse because it resonated with feelings of worthlessness and weakness she had formed about herself when she was growing up.

Under a barrage of criticism, she would just freeze and not be able to find words to defend herself. She believed her own needs were selfish.

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• #MeToo Movement Helps To Shed Light on Depression in Men

Some of what this article is discussing some liberals refer to as “Toxic Masculinity,” which is not, contrary to what some conservatives believe, saying that all men are abusive or that masculinity itself is toxic.

Toxic Masculinity refers to rigid societal gender expectations for boys and men, ones which can harm males (as well as females), such as what is discussed in this article.

#MeToo Movement Helps To Shed Light on Depression in Men

In the shadow of #MeToo revolution there is a quieter evolution occurring in the world of men: Famous men are coming forward to discuss their battles with anxiety and depression.

Just this Tuesday, NBA superstar Kevin Love penned a powerful pieceabout a panic attack he suffered during a game on Nov. 5, 2017. It is easy to miss the connection between Love’s story and the fight for gender equality. Males, from boys to old men, are prisoners of our own perceived indestructibility.

Love’s revelations about his battle with anxiety are part of a larger movement to destigmatize mental health and treat it as something more than the blues. Love was inspired by a former teammate, DeMar DeRozan, who himself came forward to discuss his depression in late February.

There are many obstacles to confronting mental health, but a common barrier for men is masculinity and gender expectations of male toughness, which Lovehighlighted, “Growing up, you figure out really quickly how a boy is supposed to act. You learn what it takes to ‘be a man.’ It’s like a playbook: Be strong. Don’t talk about your feelings. Get through it on your own.”

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• Let’s Say Good-Bye To The Straw-Feminist by Cordelia Fine

Let’s Say Good-Bye To The Straw-Feminist by Cordelia Fine

I would really hope that the reader of this blog post clicks on the link I am providing to this editorial, because the few excerpts I provide don’t do it justice.

(Your primer about me: I’m an ex-Republican who is a moderate conservative who disagrees with feminists on some topics but who agrees with them on others.)

I typically try not to excerpt too much from an author’s page, but sometimes, it’s hard for me to know when and where to stop quoting, if a page or article is so very good. This is one of those times.

Let’s Say Good-Bye To The Straw-Feminist by Cordelia Fine, published in 2011

“This was not a permissible hypothesis”.

That was social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s recent explanation of the outrage that followed Lawrence Summers’ speech at a conference on the under-representation of women in science and engineering, in which he suggested that women are on average intrinsically less capable of high-level mathematical and scientific thinking.

Haidt’s depiction of the way in which scientific thinking can be distorted by “sacred values”, and his portrayal of Lawrence Summers as the victim of censorious political correctness, evoke two familiar protagonists in the sex differences debate. There’s the hero, who doesn’t let political values get in the way of the search for scientific truth. And then, there’s the villain of the piece.

That bogeywoman – the truth-fearing feminist – haunted me during a photo shoot I endured shortly after my book, Delusions of Gender, was published last year.

…In the interminable sex differences debate it always seems to be those who are critical of scientific claims of essential differences who are accused of allowing political desires to blinker them to the facts of the case.

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