• It’s Not Self Pity When It’s Happening To You – RE: Classifying Other People’s Life’s Pain Derogatorily as “Self Pity”

It’s Not Self Pity When It’s Happening To You – Re: Classifying Other People’s Life’s Pain Derogatorily as “Self Pity”

This has become a very big pet peeve of mine in the last few years.

There are people out there, who, if you go to them when you’re undergoing a rough patch in your life, seeking empathy or encouragement – say,  after the death of a family member, or what have you – they will later refer to this behavior of yours insultingly as “self pity.”

I have run into two people so far in the last few years who have classified my struggles as being “self pity,” with one of these people engaging in that behavior herself, but of course, she does not regard herself writing to me about being stressed or hurting as “self pity,” no.

I’ve also seen people on other sites refer to other people’s struggle to cope with depression, grief, job loss, or what have you, with the phrase “self pity.”

I am not convinced that any and all negative reactions to hurt, pain, and anxiety in life is always “self pity.” I think it’s often not self pity.

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• Confessions of a Misogynist by Dustin Dandkiller

Confessions of a Misogynist by Dustin Dandliker

(Word Press has unfortunately changed the behind- the- scenes layout mechanisms to something terribly annoying. So pardon if this and future blog posts appear weird or messed up. I don’t think the new “Block” format permits me to add a “more” tag, either)

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Confessions of a Misogynist by Dustin Dandliker

COMMENTARY | I wasn’t born hating women. No one is. I developed a sense of entitlement after years of privilege.

by Dustin Dandliker, 2018 – Snippets:

….I wasn’t born hating women. No one is. I developed a sense of entitlement and looked down on females after years of privilege. Misogyny became as invisible and pervasive as the air I breathed. All of my behavior stemmed from an underlying belief that everyone would hurt me and women were supposed to serve men.

Fear of people stemmed from my violent childhood. My step-dad beat my mom, and my mom beat me. Violence at home, bullies at school and ultra-violent action “heroes” taught me the world and its people were a threat and I had better be ready to defend myself.

Consequently, I separated from the relational/emotional aspects of myself. Everything around me – comic books, movies, video games, even church – stressed logic and action to the neglect of feeling.

I was encouraged to stand up for myself in a fight and threatened with rejection if I espoused anything labeled “feminine.” So, female came to mean less than masculine. All I had left after that was cold fear hidden by sarcasm and threats.

I was also immersed in a religious culture that seated me at the head of the table and the household. I never saw a woman preach a sermon or lead a discussion about spirituality.

When I was 11, I was laughed at by a church elder when I pointed out this discrepancy. Deborah and I attended a conservative, evangelical Christian college that literally taught that women and men held “separate but equal” household roles. I believed God had ordered things for my privilege.

Today, I think and live a different way. I have been non-violent for 15 years. ….

See Also:

How Male Supremacy Led to Murder by S. Hendrix


• The Physiological and Psychological Differences Between Introverts, Extroverts and Ambiverts

On Laughing Squid:

The Physiological and Psychological Differences Between Introverts, Extroverts and Ambiverts

In a highly informative episode of Life Noggin, narrator Pat Graziosi aka Blocko enlisted the help of fellow YouTuber Anthony Padilla to explain the physiological and psychological differences between introverts and extroverts.

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