• Sexual Assault Victims Who Turn on Sexual Assault Victims by K. Burmeister

Sexual Assault Victims Who Turn on Sexual Assault Victims by K. Burmeister

Sexual Assault Victims Who Turn on Sexual Assault Victims

Snippets:

October 2018

Most sexual assault survivors are supportive of other survivors, but sometimes a sexual assault victim comes along who isn’t supportive. Sometimes these victims are outright hostile toward survivors.

It can be hard to understand why these fellow victims would try to throw other victims under the bus. In my experience, there are a few reasons this might happen, and I believe it’s important for us to be aware of these reasons as we’re having these difficult conversations.

….They Might Actually be a Jerk

Anyone can be the victim of sexual assault. Women. Men. Straight. LGBTQ. Adults. Children. Elders.

And jerks. Jerks can be sexually assaulted too.

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• We Shouldn’t Need Multiple Accusers to Stop a Sexual Harasser By Jill Filipovic

We Shouldn’t Need Multiple Accusers to Stop a Sexual Harasser

By Jill Filipovic

September 12, 2018

It took 12 women to push one man from his perch. Leslie Moonves, the chairman and CEO of CBS, departed the company after a total of a dozen sexual-harassment and assault allegations were leveled against him — six over a month ago, then six more on Sept. 9 after weeks of discussions but little action on ousting one of TV’s titans.

This is how these cases seem to go: One person speaks out, or maybe two or three talk to a reporter.

Only after the initial accusations are made public do the floodgates open.

This cascading effect — that it’s tough to get anyone to speak out first, but appears almost inevitable that more voices will then follow — illuminates some of the remaining challenges of combatting sexual harassment across our culture.

….We now seem to expect that a harasser will have a long list of victims, whether he (or she) is famous or not.

But there are consequences to that assumption: It inevitably makes it harder for a single accuser to have her claims heard.

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• All Career Advice For Women Is A Form of Gaslighting by Ephrat Livni

All Career Advice For Women Is A Form of Gaslighting by Ephrat Livni

All Career Advice For Women Is A Form of Gaslighting by By Ephrat Livni

Snippets:

If you’re a working woman, you’ve likely been inundated with advice about how to ensure that gender double standards don’t impede your brilliant career. 

Assert yourself boldly at meetings in an appropriately low tone of voice, yet purr pleasingly when negotiating salary. Be smart but never superior, a team player though not a pushover, ever-effective yet not intimidatingly intellectual. Calibrate ambition correctly, so that none are offended by your sense of self-worth, but all seek to reward your value. Dress the part.

Inevitably, even in the most allegedly enlightened workplaces, women contend with subtle biases. And so the fairer sex gets the message that we can’t just work. We must also contort and twist and try not to seem bitchy as we lean in.

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• What Kind of Person Makes False Rape Accusations? by S. Newman

What Kind of Person Makes False Rape Accusations? by S. Newman

What Kind of Person Makes False Rape Accusations?

Snippets:

False rape accusations loom large in the cultural imagination. We don’t forget the big ones:
The widely-read 2014 Rolling Stone article, later retracted, about a brutal gang rape at the University of Virginia; the 2006 accusations against innocent members of the Duke University lacrosse team.

These cases are readily cited by defense attorneys and Republican lawmakers and anyone else who wants a reason to discuss the dangers of false allegations. What if a woman has consensual sex, and then regrets it the next day?

What if a woman gets dumped by her boyfriend and decides to accuse him of rape as revenge?

What if she’s just doing it for attention?

Are false accusations reaching epidemic levels in today’s hard-drinking hookup culture, where the lines of consent have been blurred? Critics argue that reports of rape should be treated with more caution, since men’s lives are so often ruined by women’s malicious lies.

But my research—including academic studies, journalistic accounts, and cases recorded in the US National Registry of Exonerations—suggests that every part of this narrative is wrong.

What’s more, it’s wrong in ways that help real rapists escape justice, while perversely making it more likely that we will miss the signs of false reports.

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• How Very Bad Men Get Away With Rape by J. Valenti

How Very Bad Men Get Away With Rape by J. Valenti

How Very Bad Men Get Away With Rape

It takes one person to commit a rape, but a village to let them get away with it over and over

…Why is this minority of bad men able to get away with abusing women over and over? Because “good” men make it easier for them.

You don’t have to be an abuser to enable abuse, and over the last few weeks, Americans have watched that reality play out on the national stage.

Knee-jerk sympathy for men accused of wrongdoing isn’t new.

After CBS chairman Les Moonves was accused of sexual assault, for example, network board member Arnold Kopelson said, “I don’t care if 30 more women come forward and allege this kind of stuff… Les is our leader and it wouldn’t change my opinion of him.” Phyllis Golden-Gottlieb, who says Moonves raped her in 1986, told New Yorker reporter Ronan Farrow that she didn’t come forward for fear it would derail her career. Comments like Kopelson’s suggest she was likely correct.

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• Southern Baptists Are Having To Defend Themselves Against the Accusation That They’re Becoming Feminists

Southern Baptists Are Having To Defend Themselves Against the Accusation That They’re Becoming Feminists

One of the mis-givings I have with being a conservative is sitting back and watching other conservatives automatically reject any and all grievances raised by secular or Christian feminists (and doing so without honestly weighing if the feminist points have merit or not), or to associate seeking justice and equality for women with extreme, militant feminism, and therefore rejecting it out-right.

There is nothing anti- conservative, or un-biblical, with conservatives, Republicans, Christians, or with anyone, noticing that sexism exists and seeking to rectify the situation and to ensure that girls and women are treated with respect, and given equality of opportunity.

The Southern Baptists Dumped a Predator or Two, but Let’s Hold Off on the F-word

Jul 16, 2018, 1:54pm Anne Linstatter

The #metoo and #churchtoo movements have put SBC leaders on the defensive, as earlier revelations of widespread child sexual abuse by priests did to the all-male Roman Catholic hierarchy. Yet both groups continue to deny that there could be any connection between all-male power and the sexual abuse of women and children.

What a hoot! Southern Baptists are having to defend themselves against the accusation that they’re becoming feminists.

What have they done to deserve this F-word? They’ve kicked out the president of a seminary for counseling victims of domestic violence to keep quiet, and for telling at least one rape victim to forgive her assailant and not report to police. They dethroned a few other predator pastors and confessed to past failures to protect the weak.

This counts as feminism?

I’d simply call it justice regardless of gender—which, by the way, actually is the definition of feminism.

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• This Is Not About All Men. Don’t Make It About You.

This Is Not About All Men. Don’t Make It About You.

I’ve noticed any time a woman (or women collectively) step forward to openly discuss their struggles – especially against “male on female” sexism – immediately, many men, or their female anti-feminists allies, hop into “defense mode” to either insist loudly and often that “not all men” are sexists (or are not sexual abusers), or, they like to try to derail a topic by arguing that (some) women are just as bad as men.

It’s repulsive to me that even situations that are of concern to women, that largely impact women more harshly, more often, or more severely than men, are always distorted and twisted to be turned into how these topics affect men.

Because as a society, I suppose we’re all supposed to care far, far more about men and the needs and feelings and jobs of men – than we are of women and women’s jobs, feelings, and needs.

I quite frankly do not care how the “Me Too” movement, or other women-centric causes, impact men, negatively or otherwise.

My level of concern is about confined only to the area that men who are currently sexist, or who sit around denying how rampant sexism is, will have their eyes opened to how common-place sexism is, even in a wonderful nation such as the United States.

Talkback caller’s heartfelt poem about violence against women resonates with listeners

by Nicole Mills

[Below audio sample on the page:

“Do not usurp my story / don’t tell me what to do / This is not about all men / Don’t make it about you”

Carmel shared this powerful poem about violence against women. Turn your sound on and take a moment for this.]

… But one caller to ABC Radio Melbourne has done an amazing job of uniting a huge number of women and men, who agreed her poem about society’s response to violence against women summed up their own feelings.

Carmel is a psychologist who works in the domestic violence field. She said she was fascinated by how “good, decent men often jump in to defend men, rather than listen to what women are saying”.

(By Carmel):

When I say I’m afraid of men who mean me harm,

You tell me not to make a fuss, there’s no need for alarm.

That not all men are like that, not to stress my pretty head,

Or talk about those other men just look at you instead.

But what of women suffering, a slap, a punch, a shove,

A life of menacing oppression from a man they love.

Not all men are sexist, not all men disrespect,

Not all men are the man who harms what he should protect.

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