• Former NFL Player Says ‘Masculinity Can Be A Cult’

Terry Crews: ‘Masculinity Can Be A Cult’

The actor and activist said men often don’t see women as “all the way human.”

…True to form, Crews took a moment to point out how masculinity contributes to issues of sexual violence and gender inequality.
“Masculinity can be a cult,” Crews said. “And when I say ‘cult,’ it’s no different than David Koresh. It’s no different than Jim Jones.”
He said that men ― whether consciously or unconsciously ― rarely see women as “all the way human.”

Terry Crews Calls Out “Cult” of Masculinity in Discussion About #MeToo, Consent

Former NFL player says ‘masculinity can be a cult’…

by KARA CUTRUZZULA

What does consent look like in the #MeToo era?

Actor and former NFL player Terry Crews joined journalists Joanna Coles and Lauren Duca to discuss toxic masculinity, consent, and dating post-#MeToo

In an honest and enlightening debate about the new rules of sexual engagement moderated by Zainab Salbi, host and executive editor of the PBS series “#MeToo, Now What,” two female journalists joined a male actor and activist to discuss the issues and share their own stories.

….“People have to understand that masculinity can be a cult, and when I say cult, it’s not different from David Koresh, it’s not different from Jim Jones,” said activist, actor and former NFL player Terry Crews.

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• Friendship as a Foundation: Moving Beyond Bill Hybels and Anxious Egalitarianism Pt 2 by Dan Brennan

The following article by Mr. Brennan also discusses the sexist, ridiculous, anti-singles, ineffective, Billy Graham Rule (aka the “Mike Pence” rule):

Friendship as a Foundation: Moving Beyond Bill Hybels and Anxious Egalitarianism Pt 2

Snippets:

…Three weeks ago, virtually any red-blooded American egalitarian would have ascribed so much “power” to what they thought was a “healthy” egalitarian model led by Hybels [Hybels is now in trouble for allegedly acting inappropriately towards women who worked with him at his church].

Now we know, with all this stuff coming out—there was a lot of psychological social sexist ministry happening under his leadership that was happening underneath the surface egalitarianism.

… One of the biggest reasons we are here is that Willow Creek egalitarianism never took a woman’s intimate personal power in friendship, seriously.

… Before #MeToo, both complementarians and egalitarians paid lip service to women’s intimate personal power in non-romantic relationships.

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• Business Viewpoint with Nancy Parsons: Sexual Harassers Use Power for Manipulation

I placed a few portions of this in bold faced type to emphasize points I found most interesting – one section discusses how often times, sexual harassers and abusers chose to target women who are codependent (no boundaries, people pleasers, etc), a theme which I have touched on a few times on my own blog.

Business Viewpoint with Nancy Parsons: Sexual harassers use power for manipulation  

Snippets:

by Nancy Parsons

April 2018

For two decades, my firm has assessed a wide range of personality traits associated with tendencies to abuse power and people. There are many articles about sexual harassment that are missing the mark.

One such article that is hard to dissect is “The Role Power Plays in Sexual Harassment” by Elizabeth Bernstein in the Wall Street Journal on Feb. 6.

The author interviewed four psychologists and cited a study published last year in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The article presents a wide mix of explanations for the aggressors’ behaviors, from men feeling powerless as youths to:

• Personality traits formed due to rejection.

• Power is isolating.

• Those with new power had chronically lacked it in the past acting out.

• Paralleling traits associated with alcohol addiction.

A quote cited in this article from Dr. Christopher Kilmartin, the author of “The Masculine Self,” suggested, “The bad behavior is a defense against being powerless.” While a number of the listed reasons may have merit, the notion that men are acting out due to a lack of power is farfetched.

Most harassers already have a great deal of power or clout in their organizations. Frequently, they have too much power or influence over others. Think of Harvey Weinstein, Bill O’Reilly, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Roy Moore, Dustin Hoffman, Steve Wynn and the exhaustive, unending list.

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• What Tony Robbins Got Wrong in His Controversial #MeToo Comment, According to Career Experts

What Tony Robbins Got Wrong in His Controversial #MeToo Comment, According to Career Experts

What Tony Robbins Got Wrong in His Controversial #MeToo Comment, According to Career Experts

By JENNIFER CALFAS
April 9, 2018

In his now-viral comments, life coach Tony Robbins shared a problematic anecdote on how some men in positions of power are responding to the #MeToo movement with discriminatory hiring practices.

“I was just with someone the other day — very famous man, very powerful man — who was saying how stressed he was because he interviewed three people that day,” Robbins told a packed crowd in San Jose last month in what now has become a viral and heavily criticized speech. “One was a woman, two were men. The woman was better qualified, but she was very attractive and he knew, ‘I can’t have her around; it’s too big of a risk,’ and he hired somebody else.”

“I’ve had a dozen men tell me this,” he added.

The purposeful dismissal of a qualified female candidate due to her looks is indicative of a larger issue in how companies and men are responding to the national conversation about sexual harassment in the workplace in this #MeToo era.

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• #MeToo Movement Helps To Shed Light on Depression in Men

Some of what this article is discussing some liberals refer to as “Toxic Masculinity,” which is not, contrary to what some conservatives believe, saying that all men are abusive or that masculinity itself is toxic.

Toxic Masculinity refers to rigid societal gender expectations for boys and men, ones which can harm males (as well as females), such as what is discussed in this article.

#MeToo Movement Helps To Shed Light on Depression in Men

In the shadow of #MeToo revolution there is a quieter evolution occurring in the world of men: Famous men are coming forward to discuss their battles with anxiety and depression.

Just this Tuesday, NBA superstar Kevin Love penned a powerful pieceabout a panic attack he suffered during a game on Nov. 5, 2017. It is easy to miss the connection between Love’s story and the fight for gender equality. Males, from boys to old men, are prisoners of our own perceived indestructibility.

Love’s revelations about his battle with anxiety are part of a larger movement to destigmatize mental health and treat it as something more than the blues. Love was inspired by a former teammate, DeMar DeRozan, who himself came forward to discuss his depression in late February.

There are many obstacles to confronting mental health, but a common barrier for men is masculinity and gender expectations of male toughness, which Lovehighlighted, “Growing up, you figure out really quickly how a boy is supposed to act. You learn what it takes to ‘be a man.’ It’s like a playbook: Be strong. Don’t talk about your feelings. Get through it on your own.”

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• Christians Need to Reform Their Ideas About Sex and Power by Megan Powell

This editorial I link to much farther below, by Powell, on Eternity News site, reflects several views I’ve held for a long time, one of which is that American Christians, especially the more conservative ones, are really not so different in their views towards gender and sexual behavior as the secular culture.

However, American Christians really like to run about in their blogs and podcasts saying their take on things is “counter cultural” and oh so very different from what they imagine liberals and feminists promote.

My response to that: No, it’s not. The Christian view is not all that different from what they, Christians, believe liberals and feminists supposedly promote or believe about sexuality.

Christians are actually maintaining and enabling the cultural status quo and re-enforcing cultural gender stereotypes and sexual practices they claim to be in opposition to.

I have also noted that strict adherence to traditional gender stereotypes, which Christians promote under gender complementarianism, are not going to resolve societal problems, such as divorce, transgenderism, and other things Christians say they are concerned about.

(Nor will heterosexual marriage, natalism, or the nuclear family “fix” societal ills either, but Christians from James Dobson to Al Mohler and secular conservative think tanks keep promoting these entities, though the Bible itself does not – not as a solution for cultural decay.)

Where the author, Powell, states:

…[we should be] teaching our sons a masculinity that isn’t based on power and aggression…

She would be describing some of the elements that encompass what feminists refer to as “toxic masculinity.” Many anti- feminists, Christians and conservatives misunderstand what the term “toxic masculinity” means.

Christians Need to Reform Their Ideas About Sex and Power by Megan Powell

#metoo shows the church has the same problem as society

A return to traditional sexuality and gender norms will not solve the problems raised by the #metoo movement, because research shows that it makes no difference to the incidence of sexual harassment and abuse.

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• You Say You’re Against Victimhood Culture Yet You Depict All Men As Victims

You Say You’re Against Victimhood Culture Yet You Depict All Men As Victims

In this post, I am specifically addressing Americans in American culture, though I have seen non-Americans play this game at times as well, in online news articles and editorials.

A lot of people – particularly those with a disposition against liberal feminism (or any type of feminism, actually) say that one problem they have with feminism is that, in their opinion, that all of feminism depicts all women as being weak little victims. That is their perception, but it’s not an accurate one.

This tendency to think of feminism as being a perpetuater of Victimhood Culture is especially true of conservatives, of which I am one myself.

Too often, those who hold this view never really take the time to try to actually understand feminists and what they’re saying, nor do they visit primary source material but read or listen to second-hand summaries of feminist views as spoken of or explained by conservatives or by conservative opinion sites, such as Rush Limbaugh, Twitchy, The Federalist, and so on.

Additionally, many conservatives are guilty of holding up the truly wacked out, kookified fringe of what is supposed to pass for feminism, the conservatives say – such as women wearing vagina costumes in women’s marches – and then broad-brushing all of feminism as being nutty.

Many conservatives love to produce memes of such crackpots (the vagina costumed women) and then write all sorts of slurs about feminism on them.

However, unlike other conservatives (or those who are anti-feminist but who may not go by the label of conservative), I’ve actually made it a point to get out of the conservative echo chamber and visit and lurk at sites by liberals and feminists.

Too often, many other conservatives get their information about liberals (or feminism) via conservative channels (such as conservative host Rush Limbaugh), which tend to skew, misunderstand, or misrepresent what feminism is about, and what feminists mean or are saying.

Usually, but not always, the people saying that feminists maintain or create a Victimhood Culture identify as conservative, or are at least sympathetic to some conservative ideals.

As I noted in another post, a lot of conservatives (of who I am one myself) and Christian gender complementarians (who tend to be religiously and politically conservative) frequently misunderstand or misrepresent feminism.

The Double Standard

The very same conservatives (or others of whatever political association who oppose feminism) who argue that feminism supposedly portrays all women as victims are the very same individuals who often depict all men as being victims.

This is hypocritical. It’s a double standard, but one that feminism haters have a blind spot to- they don’t seem to recognize they are doing the very thing they say feminists are guilty of.

When or if feminists (or anyone concerned about girls and women) publish studies, tweets, articles, or blog posts mentioning how women and girls have faced difficulty or unfair disadvantage or abuse in marriage, dating, employment, or whatever area of life, immediately, the feminist-haters will fire up their blogs, or Twitter accounts, to counter with commentary such as,

“But look at how much more worse men have it in that same area, far worse than women do, ever have, or ever will! According to a study by XYZ University, more men suffer than women because, …. (etc etc)….”

You see, the anti-feminists, who belittle feminists for supposedly supporting a “victimhood culture” like to counter their mis-perception of feminism by saying that men are bigger victims than women.

It’s an irony (and a double standard), as I said, that is lost on those who oppose feminism.

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