• Former NFL Player Says ‘Masculinity Can Be A Cult’

Terry Crews: ‘Masculinity Can Be A Cult’

The actor and activist said men often don’t see women as “all the way human.”

…True to form, Crews took a moment to point out how masculinity contributes to issues of sexual violence and gender inequality.
“Masculinity can be a cult,” Crews said. “And when I say ‘cult,’ it’s no different than David Koresh. It’s no different than Jim Jones.”
He said that men ― whether consciously or unconsciously ― rarely see women as “all the way human.”

Terry Crews Calls Out “Cult” of Masculinity in Discussion About #MeToo, Consent

Former NFL player says ‘masculinity can be a cult’…

by KARA CUTRUZZULA

What does consent look like in the #MeToo era?

Actor and former NFL player Terry Crews joined journalists Joanna Coles and Lauren Duca to discuss toxic masculinity, consent, and dating post-#MeToo

In an honest and enlightening debate about the new rules of sexual engagement moderated by Zainab Salbi, host and executive editor of the PBS series “#MeToo, Now What,” two female journalists joined a male actor and activist to discuss the issues and share their own stories.

….“People have to understand that masculinity can be a cult, and when I say cult, it’s not different from David Koresh, it’s not different from Jim Jones,” said activist, actor and former NFL player Terry Crews.

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• ACFJ Blog’s Hennessy Domestic Violence Series: Yes, Codependency Makes An Appearance

In this post I will be referencing (ACFJ) “A Cry for Justice” blog links located in this previous post on my blog:

Posts About Domestic Violence at Cry For Justice Blog in the ‘Don Hennessy Digest’ Series

ACFJ is a great resource pertaining to domestic abuse, particularly in a Christian context.

However, as I’ve explained in older posts, I don’t share their disdain for the term or concept of codependency.

As a matter of fact, the blog owners forbid the use of the term on their blog.

Over a year ago, when I left comments on one of their posts discussing the subject in their comments box, over two or three posts I left, the blog’s moderator(s) edited my post without asking me first and deleted all references to the word “codependent” or “codependency.”

Those who run the ACFJ blog feel – based on at least one book or article by a psychologist or some other sort of professional – the the term “codependent” is somehow “victim blaming” to any one in an abusive marriage.

I disagree.

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• #MeToo Has Done What the Law Could Not by C. A. MacKinnon

#MeToo Has Done What the Law Could Not by C. A. MacKinnon

The #MeToo movement is accomplishing what sexual harassment law to date has not.

This mass mobilization against sexual abuse, through an unprecedented wave of speaking out in conventional and social media, is eroding the two biggest barriers to ending sexual harassment in law and in life: the disbelief and trivializing dehumanization of its victims.

Sexual harassment law — the first law to conceive sexual violation in inequality terms — created the preconditions for this moment.

Yet denial by abusers and devaluing of accusers could still be reasonably counted on by perpetrators to shield their actions.

Many survivors realistically judged reporting pointless. Complaints were routinely passed off with some version of “she wasn’t credible” or “she wanted it.”

I kept track of this in cases of campus sexual abuse over decades; it typically took three to four women testifying that they had been violated by the same man in the same way to even begin to make a dent in his denial. That made a woman, for credibility purposes, one-fourth of a person.

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• The Female Price of Male Pleasure (response to #MeToo criticisms) L. Loofbourow

The Female Price of Male Pleasure (response to #MeToo criticisms) by L. Loofbourow

I remain amazed at people who continue to ignore that social conditioning does play a big role in the differences between men and women.

Many people continue to want to assume that men are more sexual, or more aggressive, or more “whatever” than women are, that these differences are unchangeable and due to biology, and, ergo, women should not or cannot expect men to behave with respect towards women, or, it’s put forward “that’s just the way life it, it’s not going to change, so ladies, just ‘suck it up buttercup’ and put up with it.” I’ve even seen a small number of women argue as much.

The onus is once more put on women to be responsible for men’s behavior, (to avoid being raped, etc.)

Many of the things women are conditioned and brainwashed into enduring from men and culture are quite similar to what Christian gender complemenarians train girls and women to think and do as well, only complementarians like to argue that God designed women and society to be this way.

The Female Price of Male Pleasure (response to #MeToo criticisms)

The world is disturbingly comfortable with the fact that women sometimes leave a sexual encounter in tears.

When Babe.net published a pseudonymous woman’s account of a difficult encounter with Aziz Ansari that made her cry, the internet exploded with “takes” arguing that the #MeToo movement had finally gone too far.

“Grace,” the 23-year-old woman, was not an employee of Ansari’s, meaning there were no workplace dynamics.

Her repeated objections and pleas that they “slow down” were all well and good, but they did not square with the fact that she eventually gave Ansari oral sex. Finally, crucially, she was free to leave.

Why didn’t she just get out of there as soon as she felt uncomfortable? many people explicitly or implicitly asked.

It’s a rich question, and there are plenty of possible answers. But if you’re asking in good faith, if you really want to think through why someone might have acted as she did, the most important one is this: Women are enculturated to be uncomfortable most of the time. And to ignore their discomfort.

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• Anti- ‘Me Too’ Hash Trend Advocates Seeking to Minimize Sexual Harassment Against Women; Tag Was Never About Rape Only – ‘Me Too’ Trend Is Not Suggesting that All Women are Weak, All Men are Sexual Abusers – Me Too Is Not a Witch Hunt

Anti- ‘Me Too’ Hash Trend Advocates Seeking to Minimize Sexual Harassment Against Women; Tag Was Never About Rape Only – ‘Me Too’ Trend Is Not Suggesting that All Women are Weak, All Men are Sexual Abuser – Me Too Is Not a Witch Hunt

Since the advent of the “Me Too” trend on Twitter, which began around October 2017, I’ve seen two or three of the same criticisms directed against it.

One of which is that “Me Too” somehow cheapens or diminishes more “serious” types of sexual harassment. About the only “serious” form I’ve seen raised by “Me Too” critics would be rape.

First of all, the “Me Too” hash trend started in response to the many news stories of workplace sexual harassment that began (but certainly did not end) with movie producer Harvey Weinstein.

Weinstein not only forcibly performed oral sex on some of his victims, but he also would masturbate in front of them.

The “Me Too” trend was never limited to rape only or intended to be about rape only.

I am stumped as to why many critics of “Me Too” (which unfortunately usually includes my fellow conservatives) keep wanting to insist that “Me Too” only covered rape, or that it should only be used to bring attention to rape.

If that were so, than Alyssa Milano, the actress who re-popularized the use of the Me Too hash on Twitter, should have just renamed it “#Rape” or “#RapeIsBad.”

But addressing the rape of women by men was not the scope of the project. It was never meant to be.

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• Selective Focus, Selective Outrage in Abuse Coverage – Andy Savage Vs. Clayton Jennings

Selective Focus, Selective Outrage in Abuse Coverage – Andy Savage Vs. Clayton Jennings

Among other blogs and news sources, I am referencing these blog posts at The Wartburg Watch blog (I don’t want to link to the posts themselves, as they will create ping backs, and I don’t want to create ping backs):

Post 1. Dated Jan 5, 2018, title:
I Thought He Was Taking Me for Ice Cream: One Woman’s #MeToo Story of Molestation By Her Former Youth Pastor, Andy Savage

Post 2. Dated Jan 8, 2018, title:
More Developments As Well As the Drop the Mic Moments in the Andy Savage/Highpoint Memphis #metoo Situation

This story of Andy Savage and Jules has been covered in national papers and on national television, such as by CBS News.

The story got started on TWW and on the Watchkeep blog.

I want to make it very, very clear I am not criticizing abuse survivor blogs or secular news stations or Twitterverse for calling out pastor Andy Savage for his sexual assault of Jules.  I think it is good and right that this story receive attention.

One thing I find puzzling is that the cases of alleged abuse by evangelist to youth, Clayton Jennings, did not receive any where near the attention as did the abuse story of Jules by Andy Savage.

Andy Savage is a carbon copy of Clayton Jennings.

Jennings is KNOWN to have more than one alleged victim. (Though I believe Jenning’s father denied in one interview that there is more than one – but there is more than one, the women gave statements about their experiences with Jennings.)

(Edit: I added the word alleged in there for legal purposes – I don’t think they are “alleged” victims, I believe them to be actual victims based on the news stories I’ve seen about Jennings and their statements to blogs.)

At this point, we only know of one victim of Savage’s. Savage swears up and down in his publicly released apology that Jules was his first and only victim, but I am betting there are more – but at this point, Jules is the one and only confirmed victim we have on record.

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• Complementarianism As One Basis For Sexual Harassment Against Women by C. C. James

A commentary about the “Me Too” and “Church Too” twitter trends, which highlighted sexual harassment against women by men.

The author here basically says in a much shorter format what I said in an older post comparing Christian Gender Complementarianism to Codependency:

The Silence Breakers: A Kairos Moment for the Church

Snippets:

by Carolyn Custis James

….But without investigating and addressing the sources of the problem, our efforts will fall short and the epidemic will persist.

In good conscience, we cannot adequately address this epidemic without exploring causative factors that increase female vulnerability and allow for such violations against women to occur in the first place. Otherwise, we are fighting a losing battle. We must take preventative action too.

Those Ubiquitous S-Words
Rachel Simmons, author of Enough As She Is, put her finger on a major contributing factor when she wrote,

Women have been taught, by every cultural force imaginable, that we must be ‘nice’ and quiet’ and ‘polite,’ that we must protect others’ feelings before our own. That we are there for other’s pleasure.

The same kind of social messaging for women intensifies in the church, reinforced by the claim that the Bible supports it.

We are not taught to be strong and courageous (even though that is the Apostle Paul’s message for us). We aren’t urged to develop the kind of backbone needed in awkward situations with the opposite sex. We aren’t conditioned to be decisive and proactive.

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