• Men Are More Satisfied by ‘Bromances’ Than Their Romantic Relationships (which lowers the marriage rate), Study Finds – And How Christian Complementarianism Is Playing A Role In This
I have seen similar articles the last few years which say something similar about women: more women are choosing to stay single and some women are more satisfied with same-gender friendship than they are with dating or marrying men.
One thing that is “sad-funny” about the findings reported in this article is that one thing that is driving these marriage-killing “bromances,” according to the article, is that some of these men say they feel they have to be ‘manly’ around their girlfriends, which they say inhibits them, but they feel they can reveal more “feminine” or sensitive things or aspects of their personalities to their male friends.
(It used to be the opposite in culture, I think, but anyway.)
I find this all sad or ironic, because Christian gender complementarians, from John Piper to Mark Driscoll, have been saying for years now that Christianity needs to be “more masculine,” and Driscoll (and men like him), complain all the time that Christianity, or church, is supposedly “too feminine.”
Piper, Driscoll, Owen Strachan and other complementarians also teach that all men need to act very manly (which usually means act like a Tough Guy, do things like crush beer cans in one hand, love football and spitting, never show emotion, except for anger, to others), while all women need to act very feminine (and by ‘feminine,’ complementarians usually mean be a soft-spoken, sweet, emotionally open, codependent doormat at all times).
But it is that very situation – men feeling they have to be “manly” for their wives or girlfriends, so that they feel they can only confide in male friends over sensitive topics – that is driving these men to forgo marriage to women.
I’ve seen gender complementarian Christians who get upset, yell, and scream that more and more Christian singles are staying single; they are upset because they think all Christians should marry, and marry very young.
Meanwhile, it’s the complementarian insistence on biblical gender roles – that men must be very “manly mannish”and conform to some kind of Tough Guy Christianity, and which teaches that God only wired women to be emotional and sensitive – that is playing a role in the dynamic why singles are staying single.
Complementarians, for those of you who notice that the marriage rates are declining, and you’re upset by this, you need to go look in the mirror for who to blame for it, because it’s the very gender role nonsense you peddle to Christians and the public which is encouraging all this.
(Link): Men Are More Satisfied by ‘Bromances’ Than Their Romantic Relationships, Study Finds
by Amanda MacMillan, October 2017
Young men get more emotional satisfaction out of “bromances”—close, heterosexual friendships with other males—than they do out of romantic relationships with women, according to a small new study published in Men and Masculinities.
Intimate male friendships have become more socially acceptable in recent years, say the study authors, and that’s largely a good thing. But they caution that the shift could lead to weaker bonds among dating or married couples, or even reduce the likelihood of men and women pairing up at all.