Be Cautious: Faux Niceness, Victim-Bullies, and Survivor Abuse Blogs
(this post has been updated below, July 5, as well as July 7, July 11, July 15)
Velour and Christiane continue to discuss TWW on Wade’s Istoria blog in this thread as late as July 14 / 15
Update to this post, a part 2:
Velour Apparently (Was) Posting as Anonymous At Wartburg Whiners Blog – Also: Megs48 Posting to My Blog Same Person as Buzz English
This will be a very, very long post. You may want to get a cup off coffee while you read it.
I really do not want my blog here to turn into a running commentary on other blogs, such as TWW (The Wartburg Watch), but because I don’t feel as free to openly express myself at TWW, and that I don’t want to create any drama on other people’s blogs, I feel more comfortable posting some thoughts here on my blog.
That I don’t feel completely comfortable expressing all my views in their entirety at TWW in and of itself should be an indicator that something is amiss at TWW (and similar blogs, groups, and forums).
In this post, I believe I need to discuss certain personalities and not only general phenomenon.
I’m sorry if this makes me look as though I am being mean or petty, but in my view, certain persons have played a role in some of the negative dynamics going on at TWW.
The persons I will be focusing on the most in this post are TWW participants Velour and Christiane.
I think Deb and Dee are doing a good thing with TWW: their blog exists mostly to highlight the authoritarian natures of many churches and pastors, and the abuse that results in, and they also discuss the poor job churches do at preventing child sexual abuse – all of which is admirable.
My blog post here is not intended to be “anti TWW” or “anti Deb” or “anti Dee.” I hope it is not taken in that way.
I think most of the commentators at TWW are good, fine people – but a few are “bad apples,” and many of the rest are naive and seem blind to what is going on.
I’ve seen about two or three people who post there who I think are savvy to what’s been going on, but they don’t feel at ease coming right out and directly saying what’s on their mind on TWW. They drop mild hints instead. (Except for one fine post I spotted by member Beaker J. That is one of the few exceptions; more on that below.)
When posting to a blog such as TWW, one sort of feels a mild pressure to express their thoughts very obliquely, because the culture of the blog does not allow for direct communication.
(Direct communication is often viewed on many Christian sites, especially Abuse Recovery ones, as being mean and heartless. This is an un-spoken rule at blogs such as TWW; you pick up on it after lurking or posting there for awhile.)
I think at one time that TWW was a safe place for a person to share his or her story. If you’ve ever been hurt by a church, a doctrine, or a set of Christians, that blog was, at one time, a safe spot to share.
Somewhere in the last few months, or over the past year, things changed at TWW. It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly when things in the comment box there shifted.