• What Tony Robbins Got Wrong in His Controversial #MeToo Comment, According to Career Experts

What Tony Robbins Got Wrong in His Controversial #MeToo Comment, According to Career Experts

What Tony Robbins Got Wrong in His Controversial #MeToo Comment, According to Career Experts

By JENNIFER CALFAS
April 9, 2018

In his now-viral comments, life coach Tony Robbins shared a problematic anecdote on how some men in positions of power are responding to the #MeToo movement with discriminatory hiring practices.

“I was just with someone the other day — very famous man, very powerful man — who was saying how stressed he was because he interviewed three people that day,” Robbins told a packed crowd in San Jose last month in what now has become a viral and heavily criticized speech. “One was a woman, two were men. The woman was better qualified, but she was very attractive and he knew, ‘I can’t have her around; it’s too big of a risk,’ and he hired somebody else.”

“I’ve had a dozen men tell me this,” he added.

The purposeful dismissal of a qualified female candidate due to her looks is indicative of a larger issue in how companies and men are responding to the national conversation about sexual harassment in the workplace in this #MeToo era.

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• You Say You’re Against Victimhood Culture Yet You Depict All Men As Victims

You Say You’re Against Victimhood Culture Yet You Depict All Men As Victims

In this post, I am specifically addressing Americans in American culture, though I have seen non-Americans play this game at times as well, in online news articles and editorials.

A lot of people – particularly those with a disposition against liberal feminism (or any type of feminism, actually) say that one problem they have with feminism is that, in their opinion, that all of feminism depicts all women as being weak little victims. That is their perception, but it’s not an accurate one.

This tendency to think of feminism as being a perpetuater of Victimhood Culture is especially true of conservatives, of which I am one myself.

Too often, those who hold this view never really take the time to try to actually understand feminists and what they’re saying, nor do they visit primary source material but read or listen to second-hand summaries of feminist views as spoken of or explained by conservatives or by conservative opinion sites, such as Rush Limbaugh, Twitchy, The Federalist, and so on.

Additionally, many conservatives are guilty of holding up the truly wacked out, kookified fringe of what is supposed to pass for feminism, the conservatives say – such as women wearing vagina costumes in women’s marches – and then broad-brushing all of feminism as being nutty.

Many conservatives love to produce memes of such crackpots (the vagina costumed women) and then write all sorts of slurs about feminism on them.

However, unlike other conservatives (or those who are anti-feminist but who may not go by the label of conservative), I’ve actually made it a point to get out of the conservative echo chamber and visit and lurk at sites by liberals and feminists.

Too often, many other conservatives get their information about liberals (or feminism) via conservative channels (such as conservative host Rush Limbaugh), which tend to skew, misunderstand, or misrepresent what feminism is about, and what feminists mean or are saying.

Usually, but not always, the people saying that feminists maintain or create a Victimhood Culture identify as conservative, or are at least sympathetic to some conservative ideals.

As I noted in another post, a lot of conservatives (of who I am one myself) and Christian gender complementarians (who tend to be religiously and politically conservative) frequently misunderstand or misrepresent feminism.

The Double Standard

The very same conservatives (or others of whatever political association who oppose feminism) who argue that feminism supposedly portrays all women as victims are the very same individuals who often depict all men as being victims.

This is hypocritical. It’s a double standard, but one that feminism haters have a blind spot to- they don’t seem to recognize they are doing the very thing they say feminists are guilty of.

When or if feminists (or anyone concerned about girls and women) publish studies, tweets, articles, or blog posts mentioning how women and girls have faced difficulty or unfair disadvantage or abuse in marriage, dating, employment, or whatever area of life, immediately, the feminist-haters will fire up their blogs, or Twitter accounts, to counter with commentary such as,

“But look at how much more worse men have it in that same area, far worse than women do, ever have, or ever will! According to a study by XYZ University, more men suffer than women because, …. (etc etc)….”

You see, the anti-feminists, who belittle feminists for supposedly supporting a “victimhood culture” like to counter their mis-perception of feminism by saying that men are bigger victims than women.

It’s an irony (and a double standard), as I said, that is lost on those who oppose feminism.

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• No, #MeToo Isn’t McCarthyism by S. Gilbert

No, #MeToo Isn’t McCarthyism by S. Gilbert

No, #MeToo Isn’t McCarthyism by S. Gilbert

Critics of the movement against sexual harassment and assault charge that it’s going too far, but their arguments take very little stock of what women are actually saying.

One of the criticisms of the #MeToo movement that’s emerged and re-emerged most tenaciously over the past few months is that women are consistently conflating major crimes with minor ones. Violent sexual assault isn’t the same thing as a swat on the behind in a crowded bar.

Targeted sexual harassment isn’t the same thing as a clumsy pass after too many vodka sodas have been consumed.

But this is a straw man argument—I have yet to find evidence of a single woman claiming that any of these things are equal.

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• Complementarianism As One Basis For Sexual Harassment Against Women by C. C. James

A commentary about the “Me Too” and “Church Too” twitter trends, which highlighted sexual harassment against women by men.

The author here basically says in a much shorter format what I said in an older post comparing Christian Gender Complementarianism to Codependency:

The Silence Breakers: A Kairos Moment for the Church

Snippets:

by Carolyn Custis James

….But without investigating and addressing the sources of the problem, our efforts will fall short and the epidemic will persist.

In good conscience, we cannot adequately address this epidemic without exploring causative factors that increase female vulnerability and allow for such violations against women to occur in the first place. Otherwise, we are fighting a losing battle. We must take preventative action too.

Those Ubiquitous S-Words
Rachel Simmons, author of Enough As She Is, put her finger on a major contributing factor when she wrote,

Women have been taught, by every cultural force imaginable, that we must be ‘nice’ and quiet’ and ‘polite,’ that we must protect others’ feelings before our own. That we are there for other’s pleasure.

The same kind of social messaging for women intensifies in the church, reinforced by the claim that the Bible supports it.

We are not taught to be strong and courageous (even though that is the Apostle Paul’s message for us). We aren’t urged to develop the kind of backbone needed in awkward situations with the opposite sex. We aren’t conditioned to be decisive and proactive.

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• Me Too, Sexual Harassment, and the Workplace: Compliment Accomplishments, Not Physical Appearance

Yet another complaint I’ve read or heard from “Me Too” Twitter trend objectors centers around men saying they are now reluctant or fearful to compliment a woman on her physical appearance at the office.

Some men now say they are afraid that an innocent, well-meaning remark to a woman co-worker meaning to praise her for looking nice at the office may be misconstrued as sexual harassment.

If you are a man, rather than compliment a woman boss, woman co-worker, or woman subordinate on her physical appearance, why not compliment her on what truly matters: her work-place accomplishments?

Why do you, if you are  a man, feel it’s necessary to tell a woman she looks lovely?

Why do you assume all, or most, women live to have your validation regarding their appearance? Why do you assume women need or want you to affirm their physical beauty, or to do so rather than praise them on matters having nothing to do with their looks?

If your co-worker Susie Smith delivers a really great sales presentation at your weekly staff meeting, why not tell her so?

Tell Ms. Smith how informative you found her presentation. If you did so, Ms. Smith would probably appreciate that much more than a male co-worker telling her, “I like that new dress you’re wearing.”

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• Response to the Editorial “Lame-o Hollywood Actresses Go Big — Wear Black! — to Fight [Sexual] Harassment” by Cheryl K. Chumley

Response to the Editorial “Lame-o Hollywood Actresses Go Big — Wear Black! — to Fight [Sexual] Harassment ” by Cheryl K. Chumley

I was just saying that dumb criticisms of the “Me Too sexual harassment campaign are being churned out almost faster than I can keep up with, and right after publishing that (seriously, within a handful of minutes), I saw a link to this Chumley piece go through my social media feed.

Note that I am critiquing the writing of a woman writer, not a man. (At least I assume with the first name of “Cheryl” that this is a woman.)

Why must I now point this out? Because some people are under the mistaken impression I am a misandrist, that I apparently only disagree with … men. And if you disagree with a man, this weird logic goes, that supposedly makes you a misandrist.

Some Hollywood actresses want to wear all black dresses to some Hollywood awards program, the Golden Globes, as a visual statement about being against sexual harassment in the workplace, which is a totally innocuous gesture, but writer Cheryl Chumley is in an uproar about it.

You can read her editorial on The Washington Times.

Here is how Chumley opens her editorial:

What courage, what bravery, what an unmitigated bold stroke of in-your-face protest — Hollywood actresses attending the 2018 Golden Globes have agreed to don black for the event, to send a solidarity-sistah message around the world that goes like this: Thou shalt not sexually harass.

… No reason a good protest can’t be fashionable, folks. …

After all, as the motto goes, sexual harassment may not be pretty — but we are.
~~~~~end Chumley quotes~~~~~

What is with all that cattiness and bitchiness? What is it to you if a bunch of actresses want to stage this symbolic gesture? Get over yourself.

Chumley also says:

Right. That’ll show ‘em. That’ll keep ol’ Harvey Weinstein in his place.
~~~~~~

I know that some Hollywood types are not very intelligent, but I would assume that most of them are not so dim as to believe that wearing black from head to toe is going to punish Weinstein, or other creeps similar to Weinstein.

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• You’re At Your Job To Do A Job – Not Flirt And Get Dates – Regarding the Backlash Over the “Me Too” Sexual Harassment Awareness Movement

You’re At Your Job To Do A Job – Not Flirt And Get Dates – Regarding the Backlash Over the “Me Too” Sexual Harassment Awareness Movement


(Part 2: Me Too, Sexual Harassment and the Workplace: Compliment Accomplishments, Not Physical Appearance)

There is so much stupidity or apparent willful ignorance in criticisms of the “Me Too” movement that I can hardly keep up with them all.

One of the several recurrent criticisms of the “Me Too” sexual harassment phenomenon that keeps coming up online or on television news programs are by people who are worried that people no longer feel comfortable flirting in the workplace.

How will people ever get dates or get married if all workplace flirting is verboten, they ask?

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