The Female Price of Male Pleasure (response to #MeToo criticisms) by L. Loofbourow
I remain amazed at people who continue to ignore that social conditioning does play a big role in the differences between men and women.
Many people continue to want to assume that men are more sexual, or more aggressive, or more “whatever” than women are, that these differences are unchangeable and due to biology, and, ergo, women should not or cannot expect men to behave with respect towards women, or, it’s put forward “that’s just the way life it, it’s not going to change, so ladies, just ‘suck it up buttercup’ and put up with it.” I’ve even seen a small number of women argue as much.
The onus is once more put on women to be responsible for men’s behavior, (to avoid being raped, etc.)
Many of the things women are conditioned and brainwashed into enduring from men and culture are quite similar to what Christian gender complemenarians train girls and women to think and do as well, only complementarians like to argue that God designed women and society to be this way.
The Female Price of Male Pleasure (response to #MeToo criticisms)
The world is disturbingly comfortable with the fact that women sometimes leave a sexual encounter in tears.
When Babe.net published a pseudonymous woman’s account of a difficult encounter with Aziz Ansari that made her cry, the internet exploded with “takes” arguing that the #MeToo movement had finally gone too far.
“Grace,” the 23-year-old woman, was not an employee of Ansari’s, meaning there were no workplace dynamics.
Her repeated objections and pleas that they “slow down” were all well and good, but they did not square with the fact that she eventually gave Ansari oral sex. Finally, crucially, she was free to leave.
Why didn’t she just get out of there as soon as she felt uncomfortable? many people explicitly or implicitly asked.
It’s a rich question, and there are plenty of possible answers. But if you’re asking in good faith, if you really want to think through why someone might have acted as she did, the most important one is this: Women are enculturated to be uncomfortable most of the time. And to ignore their discomfort.